The Bus Is Here!

There is a bus of elderly people who arrive about once a month or maybe once every two weeks. Every time they come in, they put a strain on our crew. They are short-tempered, confused, hard to please, and hard of hearing. They often come in with cosmetics products that weren't made in decades or ones we don't carry. There is usually one or two attendants for about six of the elders. I try to be nice and courteous to them, but it can be very difficult.
One of the elders came up to my register with a Covergirl foundation and a blush. The deal we have this week is buy one get one at 50% off. She didn't realize the foundation was about twice as much as the blush and wanted to know why it was so expensive. Then she said she didn't want the foundation. So I rung her up for just the blush. She went to go sit at a then unused register and discovered the foundation wasn't in her bag. She starts yelling to me, asking where it was. I am in the middle of ringing up a loud Russian woman, who was only sort-of polite, so I told the elder to wait until I finished so I could help her. She told me she did want the foundation, so I rung it up for her, and I realized my line has quadrupled. I handed it back, she told me to open it for her. A few minutes later she is yelling to me again saying I didn't give her her change. Which of course I did, because she found it in her coat pocket a few minutes later.
Another elder in a wheelchair yelled to me from the front door, asking who was here. I asked her who she needed to speak to, and she told me to start naming names and she would choose somebody. I started listing a few of us off, but then had to tell her her first choice had temporarily left the country. She asked for another woman on staff. When I called my co-worker to the front:
"What, Kim? What?!"
"That woman needs help."
"In cosmetics?"
"Probably. She asked for a woman."
"I'm not in cosmetics!"
"What do you want me to do? She asked for a woman, I can't help her from behind this register, and the rest of the staff are men. What do you want me to do?"
She and I didn't speak for the rest of the day.

The First Day of Fall

Today is the first day of Fall and we were expecting a visit from corporate. So last night I baked cupcakes with chocolate frosting and leaf sprinkles and brought them to work. More than I expected were consumed, which is good because it means people listened to me when I told them to have a cupcake.

Julia

A curly-haired woman came in today. She was buying Perrier Sparkling water. She told me she "didn't need a bag or anything" and she had a very peculiar voice. Nasal and harsh and just a tad familiar. I looked her over while she was punching in her pin number and saw a name tag. She was the older sister of a friend of mine in elementary school. She was the cool and slightly inappropriate sister whom we all tried to hang out with or avoid at all costs, depending on her mood. I don't think she recognized me. It is kind of creepy the way people's paths cross and then criss-cross.

Employee Discount

If you have an employee discount card, most likely you are an employee. Or you know an employee. So you understand the hardships we face when ringing customers up. If you have an employee discount, you should start the transaction by getting off the damn phone. You should also let me know you have a discount by telling me before I grab your merchandise and start ringing. When I have to move to a different register because you failed to notify me about your discount prior to me scanning an item, you should thank me instead of continuing to talk on the fucking phone. You could also acknowledge me by exchanging pleasantries, such as "Thank you",  "Have a nice day", or, "Have a good one". Also, I don't mind if you look at me during this transaction. Perhaps a head nod, or some eye contact. Really, anything that lets me know that you are aware of the services being provided. Dang, I love those fucking employee discounts.

I Try To Be Friendly

Some old guy wanted to kiss me today...he was just "teasing" but he asked if he could. Probably because I have a lipring. I am really glad I don't work in sales where I have to wow the customers and laugh at their stupid and mean jokes. I do have to maintain a sense of customer satisfaction and sometimes that kills me. People seem to think they can say anything to me; be it sexual, racist or condescending in nature.

I bought Ben & Jerry's ice cream today (for $2.99 each) and I have a $2-off-two coupon. I bought them on my lunch break (which took longer than expected because a co-worker forgot my employee discount and had to get it voided, then got distracted by an argument about what Kim Kardashian is really famous for). I clocked in, then put them in the walk-in freezer (not the one in the break room). When I clocked out and went to go get it, I was startled by the wall of milk. It was four or five rows deep, stretching across the width of the fridge. Each stack was a milk crate taller than I am. I tried to squeeze through but my chest wouldn't fit and I was afraid of getting stuck. I went to go ask my manager if they were arranged in a particular way already, she said no, and I commenced moving them. Towards the end a male co-worker came in to help. Finally. I was able to get enough of them moved so I could squeeze through and open the freezer door just a smidge. That's what I get for not using the nasty break room facilities. It was like a really cold game of Tetrus.

My Son...He Died

As soon as I walked in the door this morning my boss greets me by telling me to help the woman in camera. Anyone who comes in that early needing special attention is usually difficult. I told her to wait while I clocked in (at 8am on the dot!).
She shows me a picture of a young man and woman standing in front of a sweet ride. They are dressed up and she is wearing a corsage and I assume it is a prom-type picture. She proceeds to tell me in broken English she wants a 4x6 of the image (it was a little bigger than wallet-size) and she wants the woman cropped out. I told her I would see what I could do. I head over to the scanner and realize it is broken (surprise, surprise) and as I'm going to the other one she tells me the man in the picture is her son. As I was about to tell her how handsome he is, she says he died. She starts tearing up. While I am trying to crop the woman in the photo out as best I can, I realize this woman has now started to cry. Although her English is broken, I am able to understand that her son has died about a year ago, on the 17th. She has other images she wants to enlarge and her husband had told her not to bother coming in because he says no one would understand her because her English is so bad. I finally get the image up, and I am starting to crop, and she realizes that it would be impossible to cut the woman in the photo out without cutting off some of her son's leg off because they are standing so close together. She tells me that she does not know what has happened to the woman, she has her own future.
As she is realizing that perhaps our scanners cannot work photographic materials, she says she does not want me to try any further. I give her the geographic location of a nearby camera shop. She asks how much she owes for the services I have rendered. I told her nothing because I really didn't do anything. She thanks me and goes shopping.
About twenty minutes later she comes to my register with six pencil eyeliners (she does the cat-eye like me!), eight pairs of knee-highs and a Giant Hershey Almond Chocolate Bar. I ring her up for everything and she gives me the chocolate bar. She says "Its for you. For being so nice and sweet!" I thank her repeatedly, because I love my chocolate. As she is leaving she tells me not to drive to fast. I am assuming her son died in a car accident.

The New Kid

I was put in charge of training the new kid on the register, this afternoon. I'm pretty sure I did a terrible job. I forgot to tell him a lot of important things. But he doesn't spaz out like I do, so I'm sure he'll be fine.