Change

Let me explain something to you. I do not work in a bank. My priorities do not include making sure each person gets change. I will not give change for $50s or $100s. I cannot open the drawer in the middle of a transaction to make you change. It is helpful and sweet of you to ask for change when the drawer is already open. It is not my fault you have no quarters to do laundry and now you are in a rush because you plan things badly. I probably do not have a roll of quarters in my drawer, so you will have to wait for my manager or be ok with a huge handful of quarters. If you need change, do not stand extra-close to me or my register. It makes me nervous, and I probably do not like you anyway. If you ask for cash back from your debit card and you need particular denominations, ask me before I close the damn drawer. If I have a line or if there is an actual customer in the vicinity, I will ring them up before giving you change. Why? Because I do not work in a bank and my priorities do not include making sure you have change.

Some hot girl and her hot boyfriend came up and had a checkbook. It was pink, so I assumed it was hers. When she asked for a pen, I told her I would need and ID with that. She asked her boyfriend to write it out and he wrote "seventeen twenty seven" on the "pay to the order of" line. Then she asked if she was doing it right. I was about to tell her, but one of my irritating regulars popped up and started laughing at them in a way that was making ME mad. I told her she had to void the check and the woman behind her asked when she got the checking account. Turns out the girl just turned 18 (which I would have known if I had checked her ID closely) and just got a new checking account. She acknowledged they taught check-writing in high school, but evidently she and her boyfriend were getting to know each other during that lesson. They seemed more embarrassed and stressed out because of her comments and laughter than they would have been if it was just me helping them out.