Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Last night my dream took place near the front register of my store, and in the Hallmark aisle. And I was talking to my former coworker, who has retired in real life. In my dream she was even smaller than in real life. I don't know what is going on in my subconscious that would allow me to dream of a place I spend 40 hours of my waking life in, but I don't like it.

Number of People Who Mentioned My Pregnancy:
Ten
Number of People Who Touched My Belly Without Asking:
One
To the odd woman out: I will remember you, and I swear to Jesus if you do that again I will have a freakout.

A guy buying smokes told me he doesn't actually smoke. I didn't really hear him, so I said ok. Then he said,
"I'm buying my ex-wife smokes so she'll lay off me."
"Sounds like you got a situation there."

High School

I saw a kid I was friends with in high school. We recognized each other at the same time, which was nice. And he mentioned he noticed my picture on Facebook, going to VeganMania. Yep, that's me ! I see his posts on FB, which are far to long so I never read them.

My manager refused to answer several of my calls. By the time he came to do a pick-up, the amount was so large the register wouldn't let him take it all at once. So there.

Life Stories and More Squirrels

I'm not sure what it is about me or my position, but I get an awful lot of life stories. I have a feeling I would get even more if I was a bartender. Anyway, this woman asked me how far along I am, so I told her five. She said she is four. And she has an eight-month old at home. I said,
"Wow, that's intense."
And she said,
"No, it's awful. And now I'm four months along again. Well, good luck!"
Sweet baby Jesus.

After I punch out I head into the office to request some days off. And my store manager is talking on the phone, to his wife.
"No, I'm sure that wasn't a rat....Because! When in the hell are rats on roofs?! ... Well, they were probably eating or scaring the shit out of that black crow on the other side of the roof. ... You haven't seen the black crow? ... He is right up there with those black squirrels. ... Yes, the black squirrels! ... NO, I'm not making this up. ... I will be leaving in about twenty minutes, but only if you let me get off the phone."
He turns to me and asks if I've seen the black squirrels. Then he asks why the milk was scanned in with the cigarettes. Luckily I had already punched out and was under little obligation to answer and assist.

Special Eyebrows

I don't mean to be judgmental or difficult, but kids with uni-brows freak me out. All I know is, my kid will not be sporting one. I rung up this woman while looking at her otherwise adorable stroller-bound kid. It isn't quite at the full uni-brow state, but it comes way to close.

A regular of mine came in today, and I got just a tad hostile with her. She is special needs (I don't know how special, really) but she evidently has trouble reading social cues. She came to my register today and started in on an obnoxious line of questioning:
"Sooooooo, are you getting married soon?"
"Yeah, I was thinking about it."
"Oh, so you do want to get married soon?"
"That's the plan."
"Oh. So when did you want to get married?"
"Not sure. When I get my paperwork ready."
"Ok. Buuuuuuuuuuuuttttt you are getting married?"
"Yeah."
She spots my ring, and says,
"Oh, look at your ring! So you are getting married!"
"Yeah."
"Are you gaining weight?"
Honestly, when is this ever appropriate to say?
"Uh, yeah. I'm pregnant, so yeah."
"Oh! Well, we really need you to get married soon then!"
I finally had enough.
"None of this is any of your business. I need for you to stop asking questions about what I am doing with my life, take a step back, and realize that none of this is your business."
"Oh. Well I didn't mean to offend you."
"Ok."
" I wasn't trying to be offensive..."
I just looked away, and held my tongue. She acted hurt, and upset at me, and I was pretty sure she was waiting for an apology. But I did not. Should I have? I guess I just don't know how much she does or does not know...

Pancakes

This morning when I went to go get my car, there was a pancake on the passenger trunk side. It looked kind of crumpled. I threw it over the fence. Then laughed a lot.

One of my regulars came in, and as I grabbed her smokes, I showed her my left hand. I told her it happened over the weekend, and she was appropriately excited for me. I also told her about the pancake, and we both had a good laugh over that.
"I got engaged over the weekend, and I found a pancake on my car this morning."
I tried to maintain that upbeat attitude for the rest of the day. It only sort of worked.

Montag

OMG I can't believe I actually fell asleep before blogging on Monday. I've been pretty tired lately. I hate being tired. It makes me crabby.

I had an informative and terrifying conversation with my regular and her daughter. They were telling me about their birthing experiences.

On the upside, I got to show off my new ring to everyone. Yea!

Squirrels

I got to work before we opened. While I was waiting for my boss to open the door I heard some rustling in the trash can. I took a few steps back and went to the other door, and a squirrel jumped out of the trash can! When I walked inside, I informed my boss that the squirrel almost got me. When we got to the office, he talked about the squirrel like they had known each other for a long time.
"Yeah, that squirrel? When I come in, he is scrounging around in the trash until he hears me. Then he sticks his head out and goes like this:"
He does an impression.
"As I'm going inside, the squirrel jumps out and hangs around the curb until I'm heading to the office. But I know as soon as I'm out of sight, he heads back into the trash. And I'm like 'Yeah you furry bastard, I know what you're doing!' He just hangs out and eats trash every morning. Why can't he do that when I'm not coming into work?"
"He just does what city squirrels do. Did you want me to do the smart count?"
"Yeah. Thanks."

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

I covered today's shift for my W.B.F.F and it was kinda rough. I worked from 7:30am til 5pm. And Saturdays are much more busy than I remember.