Usually I'm ok with my life. I have a great husband, a wonderful baby, and a supportive and loving extended family. I'm employed full-time. But there is something about the evening/night shift that can make a person re-evaluate everything. I don't know why that is, but now I feel all discombobulated. Should I go back to school? Get a degree/liecense in massage therapy? Should I just keep plugging away at this job? What I do know is that I am very blessed. I also know that I have wanted many careers and/or jobs in my life, but I have always wanted to be a mom. Some women don't have that calling, and I respect that. I just ask that they respect my desire and need to be a mommy. But now I am forced to ask: What should I do now? Are there other goals I want to work towards? How do I go about doing them if I have trouble getting all the housework done?
Everyday before I drop my kid off at his grandparent's house and head to work, I am filled with anxiety about all the stuff I did not accomplish before work. And then I stress about not spending enough time with son, or not expanding his horizons enough, or not showing him enough attention...oh my Lord, this madness must end.
I only processed four photo orders today.
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