Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I Caught Me A Shoplifter!

Well, I sort of caught a shoplifter. This guy who comes in all the time has recently been looking very squirrelly lately. He came in and meandered around, looking nervous, and finally bought some frozen pizza. He stood in the crowded candy aisle for a while, holding a Snickers bar while my manager stood at the end of the aisle holding a screwdriver and looking like a psycho. That time the guy didn't take anything. In about twenty minutes he came back in, went back to the candy aisle and picked up a Snickers bar. When he looks around, he sees me at the end of the aisle and he quickly put the candy back. Then my manager arrived ( I told him this guy was back) and the guy really got nervous and left.

I bought a 9oz bag of pretzel M&Ms for 67 cents, using two coupons and a sale. I shared them with a coworker who then dropped the bag and scattered them all over the floor. I TOTALLY freaked out and yelled out "Oh my God! How could you do this to me?!" And I smacked the counter real hard. Apparently I could be heard all the way in the Pharmacy and my manager rushed over to tell me to quiet down. My coworker bought me a new bag and I spent the rest of the day apologizing to him for over-reacting. My only defense was that I was still traumatized by the previous event of the morning:

At approximately 8:06 am this gentleman walks in and starts yelling "Service! Service!" while pacing around my register. I was in the aisles stocking the pool mattresses but I do not take kindly to people yelling like that so I took my sweet time making it back. This guy greets me by yelling "Where are your cheapest lighter?! I need your cheapest lighter!" I get behind the register to tell him:
" Our cheapest one is gonna be a dollar eight, including tax." as I am pointing to the area in which they are in.
"Where?! WHERE ARE THEY?!"
"In that bucket right there." As I point over to the bucket right there.
"Right there?! Right there?! Where the fuck does 'right there' mean?! When you tell someone 'right there' how the fuck are they supposed to know what that means?" Although, during this he is getting a lighter from the bucket and slams it down on the counter. I wished it popped, but no such luck.
This guy is yelling so loud my manager and a coworker come up to the front to make sure I am not about to be the victim of assault.
I say, "I don't know." and shrug.
He throws the two singles at me and does not stop to pick up his 92 cents in change. Before he leaves I memorize the look of his eyes under his absurd and ironically colored rose-colored sunglasses.

Later that morning a woman comes up to me and says that she heard the guy yelling at me, and she wishes he hadn't acted that way. She said that some people have no sense, but I am one of the nicest and most helpful cashiers she sees and she hoped his actions didn't ruin my day or get me down. I told her I very much appreciated her saying that. Everything balances out, I guess.

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