What I Hate Is...

I don't really hate my job, although I can understand why you think I do. I hate a lot of other things though...
I Hate:
1) When the same people ask me the same goddamn questions over and over:
"I didn't know you were pregnant! When are you due?"
Funny, you asked me that last week. And the week before.
"Are you going to leave work soon?"
Whenever the fuck I can.
2) Being reminded that I am fighting with the leave people.
3) When my managers say stupid and inappropriate things.
4) Being tired almost all day.
5) Having my hips, thighs, and the bottoms of my feet hurt unbelievably, and for most of the day.
6) Having someone comment on me sitting.
7) Having people think I should be in quarantine now.
8) Buying then eating the junk food we sell.
9) Being scheduled five days in a row.
10) Being late. But also clocking out late.
11) The smell of the break room.
12) The idiocy of some of my co-workers.
13) Most, if not all, the comments from customers.
14) Leaving my coupons at home.
15) Paging my coworkers or managers and not getting a response.
16) That woman with the weird smiling tic who complained about my Hallmark aisle.
17) That big, disrespectful girl who always has something to say, but shouldn't be coming in in the first place.
18) Touchers.
19) Customers who need a lot of help. Like, a lot.

Maybe I do hate my job! J/k, I just like list-making. I get frustrated at work, and I try not to think about injustices and stupid decisions too frequently. But I am glad I am employed and I am glad my job is at a place that will possibly allow me to climb. So there.  

Hallmark Coupons

I have only seen one Hallmark coupon in my entire life, and it was a peelie from a Crush bottle during Valentine's Day. Speaking of Hallmark, that was where I spent my entire day. Which I was stoked about because it was unexpected. I rushed up to the register and found my coworker standing there. Oh...then I rushed into the office to double-check the schedule. Btw, my "rushing" is really more of a quick waddle with a lot of arm-swinging that makes me feel like I'm mall-walking. I got to pull down Christmas, consolidate New Year's, rebuild Valentine's and fill in Everyday. But no, we don't have a Birthday card for your cousin. Should you just buy a non-cousin-specified card? Yes. You should.

I purchased a "money maker" item today, wherein I got a coupon that was worth more than what I paid for the item and my coworker asked how I knew that was going to happen.
"Because I fucking love coupons and because I was up at 6 am today looking at our sales paper online."
As much as I love coupons, I only love them when used appropriately. You have to read the coupon...I am one of those bitch cashiers that reads the coupon and scans the screen to make sure they match up. I will turn you down if you can't read the damn coupon. Nicely, though.

I work tomorrow and I am already thanking baby Jesus that our store does not sell booze. Even though I only work till 5pm...some people in our neighborhood get to partying early.

THURSDAY!!!:
I remembered last night around midnight that I forgot to post after my shift on Thursday. Probably because around 10am I told my managers I was sick. Which was true. I had thrown up that morning, dry heaved on my break, and was pretty sure I was having contractions. Plus, I was an emotional wreck, for some reason. I called my husband from the bathroom, crying, and he encouraged me to come home. And thanks to the quick action of my managers, I was back in bed by 11:41 am.

50% Off

"I thought the fragrances were fifty percent off."
"They are."
"They are usually marked down."
"Yes, this time they are too."
"So they are fifty percent off?"
"Sir, listen. Yes. The fragrances are marked down."
"Oh, they are? Can you hold this up here while I keep shopping?"
"Sure."
That was a big portion of my day. The gift sets are narked down, and people were taking advantage of that. And yes, I did grab a few for myself.

I was exhausted when I came in. Because I go to bed too late, and I don't sleep all the way through the night. And I had this terrible feeling that my coworkers don't like me anymore. Or that I wasn't part of the group. The feeling waned later in the day,  but it was still unnerving.

Merry Christmas (Eve)

We were super-busy today. Like, all I did was put up a few cards and ring people up.

This woman was mean to me, in a confusing sort of way. She was rude about the price of candy, didn't want to get a rewards card (but I made her), talked about wasting time on Christmas...whatever. Karma will get her.

Most people were decent today, though. Even when our gift cards wouldn't go through.

Our boss brought in lunch for us.

I was super-happy to get the hell out of there.

Another New Guy

I took it easy today because there was a new guy. My manager is mean and said he didn't trust me to train him, so he did it himself. And poorly. And my manager also pointed out some of my grey hairs, and he pushed me, said I don't work hard, and said I can't count. Being a douche is not a good way to motivate me. I guess I won't be talking to him much anymore.

A friend of mine stopped by and we laughed and joked and made plans for later. I missed her and I'm super-glad she has re-entered my life.

Are You Pregnant Too?

A couple of folks came to my register trying to play games and joke around. I was sleep-deprived and hating my job, so I really wasn't that friendly. She picked up on that but he didn't. She did, however, ask my co-worker if she was pregnant too. She isn't. It took a lot of restraint for me to not bust out laughing.

I did not get enough sleep last night and I determined to get enough tonight. Too bad I'm not tired yet. I hate being tired at work.

Wacked Out Willy

Whacked Out Willy is obviously not the man's real name, but it'll do. There is this guy who comes in who appears to be off his medication again. He stands around my register and kind of chuckles to himself. I have avoided eye contact with this man for a while now, on account of I think he thinks I'm flirting with him if I look at him directly. He came in several times today, hung out in the pharmacy and around my register. Each time he came by I was supposed to call my store manager. Which is fine with me, because he creeps me the fuck out. I'm just not sure how aware he is of everything. What I do know is that he may or may not have come in with a writer from The Onion, and he for sure said they should use the duct tape he was buying to wrap someone up before killing them. I mentioned that to my store manager who said I should have said something earlier because he wants to call the cops on him. Because my manager just read something else in the news about some psychopath going off his meds and killing. This is the kind of situation that should allow me to go on my leave earlier.

I saw a guy I knew in high school and said hey to him. It was sufficiently awkward.

Wiped Out

Work really wiped me out today. The hours ticked by much too slowly, and I could feel my feet swell throughout the day. My hips and lower back hurt more than they had been. And many people are not in the Christmas spirit.

An Indian gentleman with three successive colors in his beard came to my register today with a big box of Trojan Sensitive Condoms. I asked for his store card and it took him a few tries to get his phone number in correctly. He then wasn't sure where his wallet was. And he needed a double bag. I think he was flustered because of his purchase. Can't imagine why.

"Gaucamole" Chips

We got warehouse in today, and I made sure people knew I was on the look-out for those On The Border Guacamole chips. They are green and supposedly made with "real" avocado and I have been thinking about them for a few days. I was finally able to get them. Two for $3.40, before tax. Then I ate far too many.

12/12/12

I stayed 23 minutes late because my coworkers are assholes and because we were busy. But because I wasn't rushing to a social engagement or another place of employment I wasn't actually that pissed. I was, however, exhausted.

I am so tired when I get to work. And lately I've been indulging in an AM pop, which I don't really approve of. One of my sort-of regulars told me she shit on herself during the birth of her first, and no one cleaned it up for awhile. But she did like the drug effects.

I got a great deal on three little Hershey bars and two big 'uns. The book I'm reading said there were benefits to eating chocolate...wonder what the benefits of eating two yogurts a day are?

Leave Before Doomsday

I think this company makes taking a leave as complicated as possible so one feels the urge to quit and say "fuck it" instead of follow through to get the benefits one deserves. I have been calling the leave people and doing my own research on the company website and trying to figure out how best to go about all this, and the help I received has been insufficient. And everyone tells me something different. And apparently I will have to work until my water breaks. Which is ridiculous. What I am afraid of is missing out on benefits that should be mine, or not filling something out correctly and being told I can't come back to work, or that I can't leave. And this is leading to me being stressed about my job security and finances in general.

A regular informed me that while I was out someone died in our parking lot. A neighbor confirmed.

My co-worker says that tomorrow something cool will happen because of the date. (12/12/12) And he says Nostradamus is probably right, therefore the end of the world is coming. I asked him if he was stockpiling. He is not. I am stockpiling, but only because that is what good couponers do.

Marriage Makes You Ugly, Apparently

Two women were in line and one says to the other, with recognition in her voice,
"Heeeyyy! How are you?"
"Oh, hey! I'm good, how are you?"
"Fine.."
She looks at her more closely.
"Wait. What was your name again?"
She tells her.
"Oh. I thought you were ....(so and so)"
"Nope."
"Are you married?"
"No, I'm not."
"That is so great. That's why you look so great. Because you're not married. Marriage is so stressful, and it makes you ugly."
"Does it?"
"Yes! Look at me!"
"Ohhhh, no! You look great!"
"Not as good as you. My marriage was 13 years and look at what it did to me."
It is true that she didn't look as good as her. After declaring this beauty no-no, she turns to me, sees my ring and belly and says,
"I'm sorry. We must really be scaring you. You probably just got married and you have a baby on the way.."
"Yeah, I got married about a week ago, but it's fine."
Then she told me to get a C-Section done because hers was "fantastic".
To the woman behind her in line I said,
"I like your Christmas sweatshirt. She must have had one helluva morning."
She laughed and agreed.

Can I Leave Now?

I was working in the Hallmark aisle a little this morning. Then I decided to look out for me and try to find the paperwork and information for my leave. It was much more difficult then it should have been. My manager even decided he could comment on the amount of time I was thinking about taking off. I have a lot of beuracratic phone calls to make, and I am stressed and not looking forward to it. Everytime I call one of these suits, I get a different answer.

We had two no call no shows today. And one of the guys who showed up was possibly still drunk.

On the upside, one of my regulars said I was one of the cutest pregnant girl shes' ever seen.

Liar, Liar

At approximately 8:01 this morning, a woman I do not like called me a liar. Repeatedly. And she said it wasn't nice that I was lying and that when she gets her credit statement back they will make me take a lie detector test and then everyone will know that I am a liar. Thank god I was able to drink half my second cup of coffee. The issue was that she either wanted the American Express cards she didn't pay for, and wanted to know why they weren't in her bag. Or she didn't want them and she felt like she was charged for them. The real issue here is that she probably doesn't know what the word "pending" means. Her daughter (who was with her on the original trip) seemed dazed and confused. I.e, slow. I will give the old woman props, though. She came back this afternoon and apologized to me. But it was a conditional apology, because she was sorry for now, but if her statement comes back and the charges are on it she won't be sorry anymore. And she had a few excuses for her behavior. (She was running late to a doctor's appointment and she shops at my store often and doesn't want people to be difficult towards her.) Still...at least she felt sort of bad.

My mother witnessed the apology but I'm not sure she was listening. Anytime I see Ma in the store, I feel like a dum-dum because it is either too early, or my shift is almost over and I am worn out from the day.

The new guy needs to watch his tone.

I'm asking my doctor tomorrow when I can start my sick leave. My feet and legs are so puffy, I feel like I need to drain them.

Gas-X?

I had to drag the photo chair over earlier than usual. My feet were really hurting. Now it is the tops of them, along with the outer edge of my heel, and the ball of my foot. I bought new running Nikes from the boy's department, but apparently even that isn't good enough.

This pregnancy gas is not making me any friends.

I Have No Control In That Matter

I have misplaced my notebook and I am once again fearing the worst.

I would have punched in on time today except the goddamn time clock didn't recognize my employee ID. It really irritates me that I am late (by a few minutes) so frequently. I tell myself what time I need to leave, I pack my purse and my lunch the night before, and I set out my outfit. What the hell else can I do?!

For those of you who encounter a cashier in your lifetime, please remember this: she has no control over store policy. She may or may not see the logic in it. All she does is enforce or inform. She does not set prices, raise taxes, or come up with promotions. She was not the one who thought of the member card. She was not the one who didn't put the new mylar up, leading to a price negotiation. Her feet are exceptionally puffy and her fetus is doing a lot of forward rolling, and she does not appreciate that look you just gave her. She has no control in that matter.

Friday and Today

It is upsetting to me that sometimes I forget to post to this.

On Friday this guy came to my register with ice cream, pudding, applesauce, and a teen girl magazine. I asked him for our membership card, then if he wanted any candy. (My suggestive sale stuff). He said no, because this stuff wasn't even for him. He motions behind him and says,
"For her. She just got one of her teeth pulled."
"Just one?"
"Well, one was traumatizing enough."
"Of course!"
I lean around the extra-large man, whom I assume is her father, and wish her a speedy recovery. Poor girl has a bloody piece of gauze hanging out of her mouth and her cheek is swollen.