Some Shinanagans

I get a little crabby when I get hungry, and evidently my lunch just wasn't big enough. 

A few minutes before I was going to leave, this probably-Russian women came up to me and said, 

"I need new raincheck. You take raincheck."

I just looked at her, and took the raincheck from her outstretched hand. She snatched it back and said, 

"You take raincheck. I need new. You take?"

I looked at her overly-mascaraed eyes and tried to figure out what the hell she wanted. She mumbled something in probably-Russian and then said, 

"How you work here? You so stupid, you know nothzing." I finally snapped and said, loudly, 

"You are being very rude, and I don't need to listen to you! Hang on for one second while I call my manager."

I will remember her next time she comes in. I don't know why she had to be such a bitch. And when my manager was done with her, he came into the office and said, 

"What's wrong with you? That woman was perfectly nice." Shut the hell up. 

We had a good crew today, which led to a lot of unprofessional hilarity. Also, I really like our Brinks guy because he always messes with me. He saw me holding a cold pop can up to my infected ear (a while ago) and asked how the reception was. 

An off-duty coworker came in to bring me Camel coupons, which is so totally sweet of her. And I used one today. I also used two low-value (25 cents) Folgers coupons. The big buckets were on sale for $8.99. I got them for $7.56 each. 

While I was busy scanning interstore merch, my manager was fussing about how we let coupon scam artists run amok. This lady came in an used a bunch of photocopied coupons after returning $400 worth of merchandise from a previous sale week. If we don't let her continue her multiple-store scam she will call corporate and they will give her a gift card for her trouble. And the trouble trickles down onto my managers. That is some bullshit, and that is why some retailers are difficult about honest coupon users (myself). It is bitches like her that make it hard for the rest of us. 

I made a real stupid mistake while posting my interstore order. I thought I could scroll down to the rest of my list by pressing "tab". I couldn't, so then I thought that the rest of the merch didn't scan...so I scanned it again and posted it again. And I finally got a coworker to scroll it the fuck down. I felt so stupid! But I'm not, so I'm good. 

I worked from 7:30 till 3:45. Woulda stayed til four, but I was about to get overtime. 

Ad Tags

Today was kind of a soul-crushing day. I put up ad tags (and didn't even finish them) and answered IC3s. I felt like I was moving kind of slow...but that might be because I couldn't seem to wake up.

I spent $10.09 on a pack of Camel Filters (with the 75 cents off label) and two bags of those mini Hershey candies. For a new pouch of Rolos (which I'm excited about) and a pouch of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups, I paid $3.64. They were on sale for 2/$5 and I had a $1 off coupon.

I bought one copy of the Sun-Times. Some woman I rung up bought eight Chicago Tribunes. I asked her if she was going to be on Extreme Couponing, she laughed and said she hopes so.

The Stuff I Bought

I bought two bags of chocolate, (Hershey's) against the advice of a coworker. But I was able to double-up on my coupons and they were on sale, so I justified my purchase. And I shared.

I paid $2.80 for two boxes of tampons (Playtex), a 12-pack of toilet paper (Angel Soft), and en eyeliner pencil. (Wet'n'Wild, who don't test on animals) (Charcoal grey). And I got a dollar-off-my-next purchase back. I used a b1g1 coupon from the Sunday paper, a regular manufacter's coupon, and a store off-my-next-purchase coupon.

I got three two-liters (Coke Zero and Sprite Zero) for $3.14 by using the peelies the vendor just left.

My manager told me to apply for the Shift Leader position next time I have some time off the register. Obviously I will do that. Next week. And he reassured me my job was not in jeopardy, like sometimes I fear it is.

Nice Eyeliner and Face

I got several "you're so pretty" comments today (made mostly by women so it wasn't creepy) and one comment about my eyeliner. An older woman was impressed by how straight my eyeliner is. She says her eyeliner never ends up that straight and she has never attempted the cateye but she really likes how I did it. Straight eyeliner is a gift from my Higher Power.

I rung up these two cute girls for a bunch of cleaning supplies, junk food, and, oh yeah, a $200 gift card. I asked her for her ID when she gave me her credit card and noticed the names didn't match. I immediately called my manager. When he finally came up he said there was nothing he could do. She got all upset and said that it was her grandpa's card and she always uses it and she is an authorized user. All of a sudden she seemed just a tad stupid. My manager calls me from the office to tell me that her ID didn't look like her. In the interest of moving things along, I said
"So....what? What do I say to her? What do you want me to do? Are you actually doing anything? Will you come out here and deal with this?"
He stays in the office for about ten minutes apparently debating over whether or not to call Discover. Meanwhile, I have to move to a different register and listen to these girls talk about how if I hadn't called the manager this wouldn't be happening. She kept claiming she is an authorized user but she leaves the store with no merchandise. She didn't seem as pissed as I was anticipating.

We were expecting a delivery from noon to 1 p.m., which is usually when I take my lunch. I had to take an 11:30 lunch after a 10:30 fifteen so by 3pm I was stressed the hell out. And hungry. And since our delivery didn't arrive until the late afternoon, I thought perhaps my manager was fucking with me.

Counts to Zero

One of my favorite coworkers will be gone for a week. Yes, I am very upset.

I changed a bunch of COS counts to zero and I'm afraid that the items are, in fact, still in the store and I just couldn't find them. But really it is more likely they were stolen because evidently I work in the hood.

While on my lunch break one of my regulars was at the bus stop. She had two (of four?) kids with her and she kept screaming
"Get over here!"
in this weird moaning voice. The kids weren't listening and I think I witnessed a mental breakdown. She kept yelling,
"Get the fuck over here! I can't do this anymore! I can't keep doing this! Get the fuck over here! Please listen to me!"
She still had this weird moaning voice and she sounded close to tears. I went back inside as her kid was peeing in our bushes.

Can I Get A Smoke?

This guy who comes in a lot (and tries to hustle) saw me outside on my break and asked for a cigarette. I asked if he could roll one up and he said,
"Shit, with all the weed I be smokin', course I can roll up."
"Alright, here."
"You ever have that new shit thats' out now? Poison? That shit will knock you on your ass!"
"I don't smoke that."
"Oh really? Cause of your job?"
"And I don't want to. It makes me paranoid and confused."
"Thats' cause you ain't smokin' the right shit. If you got cush, you wouldn't be feelin' like that. Last night I mixed one kinda cush with another kinda cush...man, I got so fucked up I couldn't even walk straight!"
"Sounds like some terrible."
"No, man! Thats' how I wanted it." He hold out his fist for a fist-pound and says
"Good lookin' out. Thanks, man. I'll see ya."

My manager was filling out some paperwork in the office. He starts talking about how the middle-class is shrinking, how this country was founded by crooks, how we are the only civilized country without decent healthcare, how we work our people to death, and how the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. I agreed with many of his statements, although not all. And the whole conversation made me a little depressed. I told him there are small steps we can take that will lead to bigger changes. He smiled.

This woman cut several people in line to make me put the Glade Plug-Ins in her already purchased Glade Plug-In holder. Previously she had me help her find the Plug-Ins.

Nice Gestures

A regular of mine bought me a rose, which I thanked him for. About twenty minutes later he found me in my Hallmark aisle to give me a Thai Iced Tea from Ruby of Siam. He said they gave him an extra one, but I got the feeling he lied about that. However, I love Thai Iced Tea, so I drank it. But not before telling pharmacy that I was about to consume a drink given to me by a customer. So if I passed out in my aisle, they'd know what happened.

Hallmark Rep

The Hallmark rep came early. But luckily we had enough people, so I spent an hour and fifteen minutes with her. We talked about display, card order, and card filing. My Mother's Day display is up to par. I want my name tag to say "Card Specialist".

I spent the rest of the day scanning stuff and pulling the bay. Apparently I learned a new skill, but pulling for the rest of the store is pretty much like pulling for COS. I got this!

Tomorrow I get to come in at 8:30. Which I'm pretty stoked about. The only thing I'm worried about is that the H.P.S comes in at the same time and we'll probably want to go on our breaks at the same time. Could be a problem.

Southern Twang

I was having a discussion with the H.B.A about being a vegetarian and/or having one's diet restricted by religious beliefs and practices. She told me she got a bucket of seafood at Joe's Crab Shack and she specifically requested no sausage. When she was almost done, she noticed there was a huge sausage at the bottom of the bucket. I told her I went to an Italian place and told them I didn't want the meatballs on top of the spaghetti. When I got the plate, there was two big meatballs on top of my spaghetti. "Get these damn balls off my dinner." While I telling her this story, the Fed-Ex guy was at my counter. "Get these damn balls off my dinner" was the only part of the story he heard. I turned to him and told him he missed the rest of the story
..."still kinda funny, though, huh?"
"I think I heard the best part. It sounds like you got a little Southern twang when you get excited."
"Yeah, a little. I don't know where it came from. I'm from here."
"Well, I love it. Keep it, it sounds good on you. I'm a tarhead so I know how it is."
I do not know what a tarhead is.

I bought a whole lotta Lysol products because I had all the coupons. And I even scored two buy-one-get-one free packages of those Lysol wipes. I spent more than I thought I would, though. Almost $20 for
two Lysol toilet cleaners
two packages of Wonderful Pistachios
two b1g1 packages of Lysol wipes
two 20-oz Pepsi Nexts
one can of Lysol Disinfectant
a 42-oz bag of Robin Eggs (what was I thinking?!)

I was kind of mean, or at least not very friendly, to the girl who came in at 4:30. She will be joining me in the Hallmark aisle and I am very stressed by this. The Hallmark rep is coming tomorrow to properly train me in everything, and to check up on my Mother's Day display. I told my boss I would dress nicely.

Update

I worked for the HBA on Friday. We brought the truck in. I was there from 6:30am to 2:45pm. When I was leaving, I felt like I was leaving too early. The day was actually kind of awesome. And at around 8 am, this guy standing in the feminine need aisle called for help. I was waiting for him to tell me what his wife had sent him to the store for, but as the conversation progressed I found out that he was shopping for his eleven year old daughter. Presumably, this was only her first or second cycle and everyone was still a little freaked out. He looked at a package of Always with Wings and said he wasn't sure what those extra shapes were. I told him they wrap around the panty and if she is going to school she will probably want extra-thin with wings. I deterred him from the scented because I think those always smell a little odd and are too obvious. He asked me how many she should take to school. I said three just to make her feel safe. I was impressed with his lack of extreme embarrassment (he was a little) and I was impressed that he actually made this errand at all.
Later that day my coworker comes to me and tells me to help this woman in choosing a pregnancy test. I found her in that aisle looking at store-brand tests. I love my company as much as the next guy, but there are some things that just necessitate the national brand. I steered her towards the ones I like. And in heavily accented English she asks me if we have pills to get rid of it. I finally realized she was talking about the morning-after pill (which of course you can only take the morning after). I gave her a card to bring up to the pharmacy and advised her to speak with the pharmacist. Which in her case seemed like the least she needs to do.

Today I just couldn't wake up. I forgot my coffee at home, but I keep instant and a cup in my locker. (The cup is actually a jar, because I am, in fact, a hillbilly. Although there has been some debate about whether my jar use is country or ghetto.) I bought myself a Pepsi Next (which I made 7 cents on) and I still couldn't wake up. I spent the whole day in the Hallmark aisle and answering IC3s, but I'm not sure how much I actually got done. Me and the two other women I was working with felt blah and discombobulated too.
Just an FYI, I work with one woman five days of the week and our cycles have lined up. I told her this the other day and she asked how I knew that. I know because our male co-worker whom we share a lot with always looks extra-stressed on our first day. We spend half the day telling him our uterus hurts and I think we might be too much woman for him.

Cereal

I purchased three boxes of General Mills cereal and an Easter scented pen for $1.78. The cereal was on sale, 2/$5 with a possible $1-off-your-next-in-store-purchase. I had a $1 off three boxes coupon and a $4 coupon. I bought the pen (25 cents with my discount) so I could use my $4 coupon. (One manufacturer coupon per item!) So I paid $1.78 and I got a $1 off coupon back. I was pretty stoked.

Almost Late

I woke up later than I wanted to, but I got to work on time. But the rushing in the morning sent me on whirlwind of activity for the rest of the day and I felt a little high-strung and crazy.

There is a group if middle-schoolers that I hate. They come in twice a day and each time they are rude and obnoxious.

A well-dressed, attractive women came in with three WIC checks. She has admitted to me in the past that she doesn't actually need WIC, but she wants to get what she can from the government. This infuriated me greatly. I hope I get a chance to turn her in for some kind of WIC fraud. She only buys name-brand items and will not get the store-brand if I tell her she has to. She is also someone who says "but I always get this." My boss lets her get away with it because he is afraid of customer complaints and because she is very pretty.

The John Freida shampoo is on clearance for $2. I had a $2 off coupon. With my discount it rung up at $1.70 and the system wouldn't take the coupon. Rather then risking my coworker's job, I had her ring it up without the discount. I paid 19 cents, just the tax, for that bottle of shampoo.

In my other purchase I had two twelve packs of Pepsi Next. They are on sale and have an in-store mnf coupon, which brings them to $1.99 ($1.69 with our discount). I also bought two packs of Dentyne gum (69 cents on sale) and had a $1 off two coupon. I paid around $3.84 for that purchase. I told my boyfriend that he has to like Pepsi Next because its on sale and I now have three twelve packs in the house. I like it.

Vietnam

As we all know, our Easter stuff is 50% off. This little, old, Asian women came to my register with a few bags of Easter candy requesting a price check. I obliged. She was surprised at the amount of the Hershey's eggs, chose not to purchase them, paid for the rest of her stuff, and left my vicinity. She came back again with a few more bags of candy and once again, the Hershey's eggs. She was still surprised at the price and let me know she thought they should be somewhere around $2. I recalled my manager telling me to discount Easter stuff whenever there might be an argument, so I said
"Sure. Sure, I can make it $2."
"Oh, really? Oh, thank you. I send these candies back to my country."
A pause, while I thought of a good response.
"Oh really? Which country is that?" Her reply wasn't alarming to me, but the way she said it kind of was. She looked around, then half-whispered, half-mouthed,
"Vietnam."
"Vietnam? Wow..."
"The people there love these chocolates, but they are too poor to get them. So I mail them the chocolates."
"That is very nice of you. They must appreciate that."
"Oh, yeah. Ok...bye!"
"Ok. Have a good day!"

Somehow my boss and I got into yet another conversation about gang-related wounds. I told him personal information about my father which I now feel a little weird about.

I also feel a little weird about my leaving a somewhat bizarre to-do note I left near the register. It was written on the back of part of a White Owl White Grape package and said things like "make sure loan has a fixed interest" and "4/18 Hallmark in for me, and possibly Matali, 9am" I kind of hope one of my coworkers threw it away without looking at it. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.

50% Off

I have been working at my store long enough to have started taking ownership of things. I like to get my work done and done well because I care about my store. I want it to look good; I want the merchandising to be done well, and I want my projects to be cared for. Sometimes I feel like even though I complete and care for my projects there is still chaos. I feel like I work hard on a project only to have it torn down or ruined in the near future.

I got to work in my aisle again, which I was pretty stoked about. I called the Hallmark rep, it went to voicemail and I left her a message stating "let's make an appointment so my aisle doesn't continue to look the way it does now." She has not called me back. I emptied a few boxes and debated on what display I should put up next. I even read the Hallmark newsletter. Then, and this pissed me the hell off, as I was leaving my boss tells me what day he wants the Hallmark rep to come because on that day he scheduled me and this other girl. So he wants this other girl to work on Hallmark with me. And apparently "if you get promoted I'll be stuck without a Hallmark person again." So that sounds good, maybe, for me. But in the meantime I'll have to deal with this girl who does not understand or follow directions well. And I have really started to take ownership over my aisle. So if she fucks it up, I will be absolutely furious.

The Easter candy is 50% off. The medium bag of M&ms are ringing up at 1.89 each. There was a coupon for a dollar off two in the store coupon booklet. I got four bags.

I rung one woman up for over $100 of Easter candy. Candy only. No decorations. I'm not judging I'm just saying.

Easter Sunday

It got kind of busy. But I was still able to work in my aisle and I called the Hallmark representative and left a message telling her to call the store so we could schedule a meeting so I could be trained properly and make the aisle look better than it does now.

I bought Easter candy which was not on sale but I had coupons for it. I paid $10.68 for four bags of candy plus the Sunday issue of the Suntimes. And I just realized I forgot to grab one of the bags of candy. I had my coworker ring up two of them and I only grabbed one! This is a goddamn crisis.

Comments and Concerns

A possibly deranged Assyrian lady told me I look like an Arab girl she knows. I assumed she was deranged because I am just about the whitest girl you've ever seen. "Pale like skim milk."

A customer approached my register to apologize for being difficult about the milk. She said she really gave me a hard time, and she was very sorry. Apparently, I am usually very sweet to her, and she wanted me to know she had been thinking about how difficult she had been and felt terrible about it. I smiled sweetly and in my customer service voice told her I had forgotten about it, and to stop worrying about it. In truth, I had no idea what milk difficulty she was speaking of. Later, however, I recalled the incident, although with no ill will. She had a raincheck, and for some reason, she couldn't understand the concept, nor the final price. The conversation had circled for quite awhile and I finally called my manager. She is the first (that I can recall) customer to apologize for an event so long after said event took place. I found it charming and sweet that she wanted to make amends. I have been on my vaycay for a week, and her situation took place a few days before that.

It pleases me to know that at least some (or one) of our customers find it necessary to make amends.

A coworker thought I was several years younger than I am. But two older men hit on me today. Creepy? Possibly.