New Management

I forgot an important password today. I forgot how to log into my employee account.

There is a posting in the office about a management position opening. I think I will apply, even though I'm pretty sure I'll be turned down. That is, if I can remember my damn password.

Lollipops

A tall, kind of goofy looking gentleman comes in pretty frequently. He wears hip rubber bracelets and a fanny pack. I believe he is mentally unwell. While on my break one day, a car is waiting to turn right out of our parking lot. The car is in the way of the sidewalk and this guys kicks the car and starts screaming
"Get out of my way! Get the fuck out of my way!"
Another time one of my regulars was in front of him buying cigarettes and he kept saying
"I don't smoke. So I have money for milk."
Obviously, he was purchasing milk. I noticed he buys a lot of lollipops. Only a certain brand. We chat about them sometimes. Today he said he was saving the one he was buying today for Friday. He only eats the lollipops on Friday or Saturday night. He didn't need to buy one for this Saturday because he was going out. I said
"Isn't it a little early to be buying your lollipop for Friday?"
He said no, because he has a special spot he puts them that he only looks at on Friday and Saturday night. Sometimes he purchases them for a few weekends at a time. As he was leaving, I noticed one of the head pharmacists give him a crazy look. I said
"What's that look for, man? You don't like him?"
He proceeded to tell me that this gentleman couldn't get his prescription filled and he freaked out! He threw himself on the floor, screaming and looking like he might be having a seizure. He was really upset and was swearing, yelling and screaming. I am surprised I missed it. I usually have a sixth sense about stuff that like going on in my store. So because of that freak-out, pharmacy does not like that man. I do, because I appreciate his Lollipop schedule.

New Management

I felt a little out of it and just a tad stupid for the part of my workday.
The good news is that one of my old managers filled in today. It was nice to work with him again.

I "got paid" to buy a protein/energy bar. The product was $1.60 and I had a 55 cent coupon. My discount rang up the product as $1.39. I got a $1.60 coupon for my next in-store purchase. I bought two. Separately, of course.

The Bus Is Here!

There is a bus of elderly people who arrive about once a month or maybe once every two weeks. Every time they come in, they put a strain on our crew. They are short-tempered, confused, hard to please, and hard of hearing. They often come in with cosmetics products that weren't made in decades or ones we don't carry. There is usually one or two attendants for about six of the elders. I try to be nice and courteous to them, but it can be very difficult.
One of the elders came up to my register with a Covergirl foundation and a blush. The deal we have this week is buy one get one at 50% off. She didn't realize the foundation was about twice as much as the blush and wanted to know why it was so expensive. Then she said she didn't want the foundation. So I rung her up for just the blush. She went to go sit at a then unused register and discovered the foundation wasn't in her bag. She starts yelling to me, asking where it was. I am in the middle of ringing up a loud Russian woman, who was only sort-of polite, so I told the elder to wait until I finished so I could help her. She told me she did want the foundation, so I rung it up for her, and I realized my line has quadrupled. I handed it back, she told me to open it for her. A few minutes later she is yelling to me again saying I didn't give her her change. Which of course I did, because she found it in her coat pocket a few minutes later.
Another elder in a wheelchair yelled to me from the front door, asking who was here. I asked her who she needed to speak to, and she told me to start naming names and she would choose somebody. I started listing a few of us off, but then had to tell her her first choice had temporarily left the country. She asked for another woman on staff. When I called my co-worker to the front:
"What, Kim? What?!"
"That woman needs help."
"In cosmetics?"
"Probably. She asked for a woman."
"I'm not in cosmetics!"
"What do you want me to do? She asked for a woman, I can't help her from behind this register, and the rest of the staff are men. What do you want me to do?"
She and I didn't speak for the rest of the day.

The First Day of Fall

Today is the first day of Fall and we were expecting a visit from corporate. So last night I baked cupcakes with chocolate frosting and leaf sprinkles and brought them to work. More than I expected were consumed, which is good because it means people listened to me when I told them to have a cupcake.

Julia

A curly-haired woman came in today. She was buying Perrier Sparkling water. She told me she "didn't need a bag or anything" and she had a very peculiar voice. Nasal and harsh and just a tad familiar. I looked her over while she was punching in her pin number and saw a name tag. She was the older sister of a friend of mine in elementary school. She was the cool and slightly inappropriate sister whom we all tried to hang out with or avoid at all costs, depending on her mood. I don't think she recognized me. It is kind of creepy the way people's paths cross and then criss-cross.

Employee Discount

If you have an employee discount card, most likely you are an employee. Or you know an employee. So you understand the hardships we face when ringing customers up. If you have an employee discount, you should start the transaction by getting off the damn phone. You should also let me know you have a discount by telling me before I grab your merchandise and start ringing. When I have to move to a different register because you failed to notify me about your discount prior to me scanning an item, you should thank me instead of continuing to talk on the fucking phone. You could also acknowledge me by exchanging pleasantries, such as "Thank you",  "Have a nice day", or, "Have a good one". Also, I don't mind if you look at me during this transaction. Perhaps a head nod, or some eye contact. Really, anything that lets me know that you are aware of the services being provided. Dang, I love those fucking employee discounts.

I Try To Be Friendly

Some old guy wanted to kiss me today...he was just "teasing" but he asked if he could. Probably because I have a lipring. I am really glad I don't work in sales where I have to wow the customers and laugh at their stupid and mean jokes. I do have to maintain a sense of customer satisfaction and sometimes that kills me. People seem to think they can say anything to me; be it sexual, racist or condescending in nature.

I bought Ben & Jerry's ice cream today (for $2.99 each) and I have a $2-off-two coupon. I bought them on my lunch break (which took longer than expected because a co-worker forgot my employee discount and had to get it voided, then got distracted by an argument about what Kim Kardashian is really famous for). I clocked in, then put them in the walk-in freezer (not the one in the break room). When I clocked out and went to go get it, I was startled by the wall of milk. It was four or five rows deep, stretching across the width of the fridge. Each stack was a milk crate taller than I am. I tried to squeeze through but my chest wouldn't fit and I was afraid of getting stuck. I went to go ask my manager if they were arranged in a particular way already, she said no, and I commenced moving them. Towards the end a male co-worker came in to help. Finally. I was able to get enough of them moved so I could squeeze through and open the freezer door just a smidge. That's what I get for not using the nasty break room facilities. It was like a really cold game of Tetrus.

My Son...He Died

As soon as I walked in the door this morning my boss greets me by telling me to help the woman in camera. Anyone who comes in that early needing special attention is usually difficult. I told her to wait while I clocked in (at 8am on the dot!).
She shows me a picture of a young man and woman standing in front of a sweet ride. They are dressed up and she is wearing a corsage and I assume it is a prom-type picture. She proceeds to tell me in broken English she wants a 4x6 of the image (it was a little bigger than wallet-size) and she wants the woman cropped out. I told her I would see what I could do. I head over to the scanner and realize it is broken (surprise, surprise) and as I'm going to the other one she tells me the man in the picture is her son. As I was about to tell her how handsome he is, she says he died. She starts tearing up. While I am trying to crop the woman in the photo out as best I can, I realize this woman has now started to cry. Although her English is broken, I am able to understand that her son has died about a year ago, on the 17th. She has other images she wants to enlarge and her husband had told her not to bother coming in because he says no one would understand her because her English is so bad. I finally get the image up, and I am starting to crop, and she realizes that it would be impossible to cut the woman in the photo out without cutting off some of her son's leg off because they are standing so close together. She tells me that she does not know what has happened to the woman, she has her own future.
As she is realizing that perhaps our scanners cannot work photographic materials, she says she does not want me to try any further. I give her the geographic location of a nearby camera shop. She asks how much she owes for the services I have rendered. I told her nothing because I really didn't do anything. She thanks me and goes shopping.
About twenty minutes later she comes to my register with six pencil eyeliners (she does the cat-eye like me!), eight pairs of knee-highs and a Giant Hershey Almond Chocolate Bar. I ring her up for everything and she gives me the chocolate bar. She says "Its for you. For being so nice and sweet!" I thank her repeatedly, because I love my chocolate. As she is leaving she tells me not to drive to fast. I am assuming her son died in a car accident.

The New Kid

I was put in charge of training the new kid on the register, this afternoon. I'm pretty sure I did a terrible job. I forgot to tell him a lot of important things. But he doesn't spaz out like I do, so I'm sure he'll be fine.

$24

Early this morning, (like, before school), this girl came in and studied our gum section. She was pretty small, and maybe in 5th or 6th grade. She bought a Covergirl lipstain and gum. And she spent $24. When she saw her total, I expected that she would ask me to void a few items, but she just dug deeper in her coin purse. And she paid exact change, which I like. But $24?! My parents would not have let me walk around with that much money, let alone spend most of it on gum.

These two sisters came in and asked for a price check on various items in their cart. Which then they didn't want. The more talkative sister asked for the $2.99 item in the coffee section.
"It was $2.99 but nothing was there. But we would like to know what it was."
I checked for them, and they seemed unclear on what I had said, so they looked around and pretended I didn't say anything. Then she asks me for a delicious mint.
"They are small and fruity and minty. And they are delicious. What are they called?"
"I have no idea. Icebreakers, Altoids, Mentos? I don't know."
"They are in that family." Then she went to look at the mints. Tic-Tacs was what she was talking about. I also sold her a few packages of mints on clearance. She bought them out an asked for more. Very unclear on the concept of clearance. She calls a few hours later to ask if we have her mints. She can't find them anywhere and she wants to know what we did with them. I told her I didn't have them, and I know she walked out of the store with them.

It Was Unbearably Slow

I'm not sure why, but it was unbearably slow today. I saw a kid I went to high school and church with. Two guys came in pretty early today; they bought a Sharpie and a caramel, separately. About fifteen minutes after they left, my co-workers found a dimebag hidden around the chips.

Holistic Healer

Some guy came in and asked if I knew where Dempster and Bronx was. Then he said he is involved in a holistic new age process that takes a person's name, birthdate and time of birth, scrambles it and then tells said person what kind of job or field they should go into. He told my co-worker she will be famous someday. He told me I should go into a helping profession, like therapy. The whole conversation was kind of creepy, funny and a little chilling.

Gift Cards

If you purchase a gift card using a credit card, I need to see your ID. I won't let you buy a gift card with a gift card. If I ID you for cigarettes and you don't have it, then you don't have any smokes either. The minimum amount you can put on a GreenDot card is $20. If you look way under 18, I am not selling you that lighter, cough syrup or decongestant. I need to see your ID with that check. That is just the way things go.

This girl and her friend came in and asked where the gift cards were. They are right across from my register so I pointed over there and said "Right there." They got a DSW gift card and went to pick out a birthday card (yes I was ear hustling). When they got to my register my phone rang so I was trying to have two conversations at once. I told the girl if she was paying with a credit card I needed to see her I.D. She gave me a look, then held up her cards with her fingers over them. I told the guy on the phone to hang on for a minute, then as I was about to tell her I needed to see the full cards, she gave another look and said (in a super-bitchy tone) "You know what? I don't want it." I felt like she thought she was hurting my feelings when she said that because as she was walking away she starts telling her friend she has never been ID-d for a gift card, what the hell is that, blah, blah, blah. Obviously I just dodged a bullet right there, and I don't give a fuck if her friend doesn't get DSW shoes for her birthday. I'm just trying to do my damn job.

Labor Day

Yes, I had to work on Labor Day.

It was pretty busy because we had those two-day only sales. I did wear my new flu t-shirt and somehow got a few compliments on it, although I felt a little foolish.

The new kid was there and he was able to answer calls and put up stock pretty well.

My stalker called four or five times. I'm assuming he was not working.

I tried to log in to my account so I could request a few more days off, but it seems I have forgotten my newly-changed password. Again.

This is going to be a long week.

This Is Our New Uniform?

Apparently we have new shirts we have to wear. I heard from a co-worker one of the district head honchos wants us to wear these t-shirts with a flu bug on the front. They are red. Red t-shirts do not look that great with khakis, in my professional opinion. I asked my manager and the assistant manager if I could still wear the navy blue button-ups I have. (Which do look pretty good with khakis.) They said it was ok. Before I clocked out I told them that on Monday  would be wearing the flu bug shirt as my work shirt. I asked several times if this was ok (they already think I might be a little slow due to my inability to remember my passwords). I told them that I don't want to come to work on Monday feeling like a fool in red. The store manager told me that as long as I wash them, everything will be o.k. I hope that wasn't a comment indicating that I should wash my other shirts more often. I really hope I'm not the smelly and sweaty girl.

When there is a lax dress code, people seem to go crazy. I, of course, am one of them. I seem to focus on the colors of my outfits more then anything else. This leads to me wearing sweats and over-sized pants, skimpy tops, and dirty sneakers. My thought is that we do actually get dirty at work. I have gotten milk, body wash, laundry detergent, dish detergent, industrial cleaning fluid, coffee, lotion and body spray spilled on me. I have sat in dirt and grime, while sweating. I do not work in an office so I feel that I should be able to wear outfits that allow me a little give.

The t-shirt thing throws me off too, because now I can wear collared shirts to work. Before I wouldn't because my navy shirts are collared and I don't think a double collar looks that great.

My other issue with these new shirts is that we have just been through a uniform change. Previously, we had button-ups or polos with our company logo on the back. Then they said that we could wear any blue shirt to work. That turned out to be a horrible plan because people were wearing blue tank tops and club shirts. For the record, I was not one of those people. Then we had a posting in the office that said by August 31st we ALL had to get dark blue polos or button-ups. Or t-shirts I guess. AND we had to wear a new name tag. They had these cute silver ones and then switched them to these tacky coach-like hanging ones. So I got my shirts and made sure not to lose my name tag and now they are changing it to the flu shirts. Although I'm sure the flu shirts will be out as soon as the flu season is over. Now choosing my outfit before work will take twice as long.

Cigarettes

Oh my lord, today was stressful. I stayed 45 minutes after my shift to finish the cigarette count. But I get to go home 45 minutes early on Monday, probably. Although no one ever wants to cover for me like that. Ridiculous.

One of the crazy coupon ladies came in today. But she was courteous and well-organized.

I felt like we were absurdly busy today.

This woman called to ask about an engagement gift she had received. "P.S. I love you". She wanted to know if we carried it. Which we do not, because it is a Bath and Body Works line. She said that the nearest one is closed, and am I sure that we don't have it.
"Yes I am sure because that is a store brand. They do not carry our products so we do not carry theirs."
"Oh thats' too bad, because it really is lovely. And you don't carry it? Its' called P.S I Love You."
"Yes ma'am I am sure."
"But they gave me your number."
"Who?"
"The store that closed. They gave me your number to check if you carried it."
"Another store that is possibly closed gave you our number to see if we had their brand? Are you sure?"
"Yes. But they closed. And you don't have it? It is such a lovely scent."
If I wasn't so paranoid about corporate checking up on me, I would have screamed at her. It goes on:
" Yes ma'am I am VERY sure."
"Oh, how sad. Ok, but do you have a tinted moisturizer? It is so lovely. The other ones are not tinted so they are not lovely. This one looks great."
"Neutrogena?"
"Yes! So you have it?"
"No, I was just clarifying. It has a sunscreen in it and its' a tinted moisturizer?"
"Yes! Oh, it looks so lovely on my skin, which has an olive complexion. I mean, I am not a dark olive. Just a slightly tinted one. And this moisturizer looks fantastic on me. The other ones do not. Because they are not tinted."
"I understand. Well, we did have that moisturizer, but we do not anymore. I bought mine off the clearance shelf, although I am not an olive. So, we do not carry that kind any longer. Perhaps I can transfer you to a manager who can try to locate it at another store?"
"Oh yes, that would be fantastic! It is such a lovely tint."
"Ok. Uh, hang on."
Shortly after transferring I see my manager look for the moisturizer in the aisle. I yell to him that we don't have it, I need for him to check another store. He looks stressed and confused (he is in the cosmetics department, after all). He picks up the phone and tells her to call another branch. Then he looks to me and asks if we have a perfume called P.S I Love You. This is how I lose my mind every shift.
Actually, she had called twice. This was the second conversation because I had to get management involved.