Blue Horoscopes

I pulled an evidently very important muscle in my left butt cheek. When I move a certain way, I get a stab of pain. And obviously that muscle goes all the up my back...so the pain does too. Dang.

A youngish friendly-looking woman came to my register. I noticed all her items had a blue label. Progresso, Red Bull...and a few other items. Then I told her I wasn't O.C.D.

I think a lot of resentments are being held by various employees.

A lot of kids were out really late. Some kids were with their parents because they were two and six, but there were a few middle-schoolers out. Around 9pm, 10pm, and almost 11 pm. I think that is crazy! My kids' bedtime is 8 pm and I wouldn't bring him outside after that. Unless there is some kind of emergency. God forbid. The kids were fussy and wild and high-strung. Because it was too late to be out.

I overheard a guy telling his friend that he has started reading his horoscope. And its' turning out to be true. Evidently the reader is finding new ways to think about life.

These entries would be much more detailed and interesting if I wasn't so tired when I get home. Also, I watched Snapped, and it was distracting.

Sweet N' Salty Chex Mix

I purchased the titiled Chex Mix because it made an apperence to me in a dream. You know what else came to me in a dream? My whole fucking job. I dream about my idiot co-workers, ringing people and being in the store during the apoclolypse. It is even more disturbing than the really violent dreams I used to have.

The Chex Mix is on sale right now, for 99 cents a bag. I got a coupon from bettycrocker.com for 60 cents off two. The Purex is on sale too, for $2.99. And I had a Sunday paper coupon for $1-off-one. So I paid $2-something for two bags of snacks and a bottle of detergent.

We try to get out early and I feel like I was dragging behind because I chat too much, but also because I pulled a muscle in my leg.

Ridiculous.

I'm Just Saying

I heard that when the morning crew walked into the store, they were astounded at how bad it looked. And I told the manager on duty that I didn't think I did that bad of a job, but I was willing to take responsibility for what I didn't (or maybe did) do. I also admitted to having a hard time taking another employee seriously. And I defended one of my favorite employees because I think she was a little bullied and high-strung. I also think I over-shared and talked too much.

I stayed an extra hour and seven minutes because the night crew was short. So I worked from noon to nine-thirty seven. So because I stayed extra tonight, I don't feel a whole lot of obligation to cover the shift on the fourth like they want me to.

Disgruntled Employees

With that girl quitting, there is a scramble to cover her shifts. I refuse to be guilted into taking shifts I don't really want. I worked two nights this week without enough people.

Another employee came in and told me we have online coupons that one can attach to one's rewards card! How exciting! The register acknowledged that the member had a digital coupon, then the cashier will say 'yes' to using that coupon. I'm super excited about loading these coupons onto my card.

My transaction went from $48 to $11, which is a savings of 77%. I had to have the cashier change the prices on some stuff because the clearance prices weren't coming up. I pulled my coupons out of my new to-go coupon holder!

Some guy with a really heavy Indian accent called to ask if his Link card would cover a Glucerna purchase. I told him I didn't know. He said he wanted me to find out, and he got very upset when I told him there was no way I could check. He wanted to send someone to pick up his Glucerna, but he wouldn't do that unless someone would tell him if he could purchase it with his Link. Which we couldn't do. I had to transfer him to the manager.

Both the manager and the woman at the front Register got really high strung. They seemed worried about stuff that doesn't really matter. What does matter is me getting a sneak peak at next week and the week after's ad.

The Crazies

I seem to get the crazies at the register.
I noticed this guy's tattoo on his wedding ring finger. Apparently it was his ex-wife's initials. He came to the register with Visine Red Eye relief for "his idiot brother". And when I said he could just get a full hand piece to cover up her initials, he said he would rather take a pair of toenail clippers and clip that chunk of flesh out. Right on.

We were short again today because the girl who was scheduled quit yesterday. And my manager hasn't called anyone. Although the guy who worked mid stayed late.

I stayed up way to late.

Overheard In 1992

My internet wasn't working last night, despite the massive amount I pay. So this is what happened yesterday:

I was in the aisle, ear-hustling a woman's cell conversation. She was telling the woman on the other end that,
"he wanted to get one of them young things, but he's afraid he might have a heart attack"..."uh-uh"...."he probably would, he's old now"...
Later I saw her in Aisle 8, and I overheard her telling the person on the other end that "you can only take so much".
So true.

A woman in her late teens or early 20's came in, looking like a New Kid on the Block. She asked for a cord to attach, possibly, a MP3 player to the steareo. I told her that I wasn't sure what she was looking for because I'm living in 1992. I told her that I don't do all the new devices; I have a fucking flip-phone.  We laughed and joked for a while about our lack of interest and understanding of the new techno stuff. I told her she needed a friend to come in a find her what she needs. Her friend, she said, is like us; she doesn't know anything either. I was able to help them locate some facial hair bleach.

We were short because the girl on the schedule quit. Tomorrow, I will let the woman in Cos know that I want the 8:30 lunch. Maybe we'll compromise and I'll take lunch at 8:15.

Cranky

I was tired and cranky for most of the day. I felt fatigued, despite the oversized travel mug of coffee I had.

My co-worker took at 45 minute lunch, which irritated the hell out of me and the woman in Cosmetics. When she finally walked in she was walking super-slow, like she always does. I told her that coming in that late wasn't cool, that she needs to speed it the hell up, and that we are going to have to make sure that she gets her lunch last so she won't fuck over the rest of us. She just sort of nodded and continued to walk slow. Thats' cool douche, I'll remember that.

You Know B.J?

When I asked a woman if she needed any help finding anything, she asked me if I knew B.J. I said
"No. I do not know B.J."
"Oh, well, he comes in very often. I was thinking you would know what kind of chips he likes. He comes in all the time."
"I do not know B.J. I also do not know what kind of chips he likes."
The woman then used her cell phone to call B.J to ask him what kind of chips he wanted. Because that is much more effective than asking the Photo Specialist. Just saying.

A woman came to the register while I was giving the girl at One her break. She was buying allergy medication and a single-serve juice. Then her sons came to the register. They looked to be in high school. The older boy asked to get Snickers, which were on sale. She said,
"No. Because it's one thing, then another, then another. I can't keep doing this."
"You can't afford 59 cents to get me a peanut butter Snickers?"
"I can. But...oh. Alright."
The other boy wanted Bianca breath spray and when she asked how much it was, they said with some annoyance.
"Its' like, 4 bucks."
"4 bucks!"
"Mom, please."
"Its' just that if I say yes now, then I say yes later then everything adds up..."
She was obviously having trouble saying 'no' to her boys, and they weren't even grateful! I really hope my kid isn't like that. I plan on schooling my son in the use of coupons and how money actually works. I thought about saying something to those little shitheads...but luckily I decided against it.

I worked a nine hour shift today. And it wasn't that bad. But my eye still hurts.

My Left Eye

My left eye stings. So not really painful, but not painless. I'll probably have to wear my glasses tomorrow.

There is a weird white guy that has some boundary issues who comes in all the time. He called me "Earrings" today, and he wanted me to get him a spoon from the break room. This irritated me greatly. I curtly told him that we only had forks, which I did not offer him. I hope he didn't hear me talking about how stressed out he makes me.

This woman had a coupon that she wanted to use on a past purchase. The coupon was not for the items she purchased, but my manager ok'd the transaction anyway. The coupon value was higher than product value. I had to return the products and then have her buy it back, using the coupon. I tried to do it all in one transaction and had to call a manager for a total void. The customer was starting to get aggravated at me because it was taking so long. Apparently her son would be mad, because she left him in her car. Not my problem.

Serial Killers and Smooshed Heads

My manager and I talked about serial killers. We have a similar morbid interest.

My co-worker asked if I do anything to re-shape my kid's head. I do not. I might be biased, but I think my kid's head looks pretty good. Apparently her family has their baby sleep on something hard to reshape the head. I think that is kind of awful.

I didn't read the box on my hair dye properly, so my roots are a bright red. I look kind of ridiculous.

I told my co-workers and manager about my new 'disability'. With some interesting reactions.

Fraud and Crying Passports

Yesterday these two ladies came in and had a really intense scam going on. They had several (like, 7) Citibank cards, which all matched their ID. When purchasing a Visa gift card, I had to get my manager to swipe his ID, and they gave me an access code that worked. Apparently we were supposed to call Visa and get the code from them. The ladies had three or four purchases each, and they bought gift cards with each one. Luckily I was paying attention to the federal law and didn't ring them up for more than $500.

Also yesterday, a little girl came up to me and asked if we were going to stop selling things.
"What?"
"Are you still going to sell stuff? Or are you closing down?"
"I...we are not closing down. We close at midnight. And we'll be open at seven tomorrow morning."
"So you'll keep selling stuff?"
"Yes."
It really threw me off.

Today I had a lot of baby/pregnancy conversations. I rung up a woman for her photos, and she spread her photos out on the counter. I noticed one with her shirt pulled up, showing (only) her pregnant belly. She has a picture of the day her baby was conceived.

Also today, I was able to get a passport of a little girl who just finished a freak-out. For some reason, whenever her parents put her in front of the white board, she started crying. Her mother assured me it wasn't my fault. After several attempts, she cheered up and even started to smile and clap. Her passport was adorable. And her mother thanked me for being so patient.

Que?

The snow surrounding the parking lot is almost as tall as me. Someone wrote something in Spanish by the mailbox. The mystery and suspense is agonizing. These are the times I wish I was bilingual.

I spent the first ten minutes of my shift telling my coworker how expensive kids are. His kid is due in a week, and he has not chosen a pediatrician or decided what insurance the child will be born on. So I gave him my pediatrician's info because I really like her. And I let him know that the baby needs it's first doctor's appointment a week after it's birth. So he needs to get it together. Also, I think he hasn't stockpiled any baby supplies yet...which is unfathomable to me.

Our truck didn't come in, so we don't have any eggs or bread. People were appalled. And possibly personally offended. I think it just reminds people that essentials are sometimes hard to come by. That storms and extreme temperatures and global warming affects prices and supplies. And perhaps the end of days is near. Or maybe people should just be stockpiling because of situations like these. Even in our modern society, there are great inconveniences.

Negative Wind Chill

It was unbelievably cold today. Cold, like, negative temps with a low of -50 windchill.
We werent' that busy. Which was good because the woman in Cosmetics called in sick.
So although I had to do my department's work, I also did some extra facing, for Cosmetics. And it didn't take me long at all because we had almost no customers.

We ran out of milk, as did our sister-store.

I have a knot on my side, kind of under my left arm, but mid-way down my back. Its' a weird spot to have muscle pain.

Long Day

Things were going well today. Until I looked at the clock and realized how much time had not passed. My two co-workers were not aggressive with their breaks, so they went late. And then I had to let them know in no uncertain terms when I was going on my lunch.

My lunch was a pop, a bunch of celery sticks with peanut butter, and a few cashews.

Christmas stuff went on 75% off. So obviously I bought stuff. I used a store coupon and saved 94%.

One of my co-workers came in a hung around for a while. Then he asked to switch shifts with me. This is the fourth time he's asked to switch with me, and I figured for good workplace karma I should agree to do it one time. So I have tomorrow off.

We got out late because the new girl moves really slow and doesn't listen well. But I was able to help her because I got my stuff done early.

Eight Miles Is Too Far

My co-worker called off because he says he lives eight miles away, and it is too far to drive in the snow. I think he called off because he was afraid that someone would dent his car in our lot, or he was afraid he would get into an accident either to or from work. He seems like kind of a car guy, so I'm guessing he was more afraid that he car would get damaged than anything else.
Because of his asshole behavior, I was on the Register all night.
But because I was mostly standing and not walking, my feet didn't start hurting till a few hours before my shift ended.
I can't wait to make my podiatrist appointment.

There are people who come in several times at week, if not every day. Each day they purchase something...like candy, chips, or cigarettes. The amount of money being spent is astounding. Especially on nothing.

A woman who looks kind of rough came in to buy some Chore Boy. I spent the transaction studying her to see if I could detect crack-user behavior. I'm not sure if she is a user. Certainly not a lifelong one.
The next time she came in (about an hour later) she wanted a pack of cigarettes. She asked for reds, which I rang her up for, and she left. A second later, she comes back in, wanting lights. She says,
"I always want reds; that's what I smoke. But my husband has emphysema. So he smokes lights."
My God, it must be awful to be faced by your addiction like that, and be unable to overcome it.

New Year's Day!

I got to work a 1/2 hour early because I wasn't sure how long it would take to get there. Because of the holiday and the several inches of snow.

I burned my microwave popcorn.

We were really slow tonight.

There is a squeaking that goes on...mostly in aisle 7, 8, and 9 in the back. It reminds me of a swing-set. Which reminds me of my childhood. Or playing outside.

I made such a cost-effective purchase, even my manager was impressed. I got my $60-something bill down to $8. Using my coupons, employee discount, and points. And I got a bunch of coupons to use on future purchases.