The Day Before My VayCay

I started off ok. And then things went badly.

I needed two cash counts today. And two chuckle-heads totally threw me off. The first cash count I needed was fine; it was this guy who just wasn't sure if he gave me a $5 or a $10. I knew he gave me a $5, but to ease his mind I called my manager to give me a cash count. Then these two guys came in, separately at first, but it turns out they were together. The first guy bought some lotion, and a pack of NewPort hundreds, and something else I can't remember. The second guy came up as the first guy's card was being denied. The first guy asked the second guy to buy him a gift card for his woman's birthday. The second guy didn't have his ID so I held onto the gift card until he gave me one. His card was denied, they both looked super-stressed, and they left. Meanwhile, I had called my manager for some extra eyes and possible assistance. He came up a little later. The next guy in line was a kid on spring break, just trying to buy some pop. He gave me a ten (indicated by where I put the money in the drawer on camera) and all I gave him back was the receipt. I was to busy focused on the two shady guys before him. His brother or friend or whatever (another regular) came back in a few minutes later to tell me I shorted him. Which was totally true but protocol dictates I ask my manager for a cash count. Which I did, and the whole thing took about twenty minutes. When I finally handed them their money back, I was apologizing profusely. The older guy was pretty cool about it. But I felt like a dumb-dumb.

I had asked my manager if I could work on Hallmark since I will be gone for a week. He said yes, as long as I get some actual work done. I told him I would, but I just wanted to get in my aisle so my other manager doesn't have to pick up all the slack. Right before I go on lunch, when I'm trying to sort out all this money madness, he hands me a list of outs for another store. I'm super-slow at outs and he wanted three two-page lists done in a few hours. I also had to answer IC3s and price checks and whatever else. I only got maybe two pages done. And apparently I did the wrong page ("I told you not to do the grey list, but you don't listen"). I felt pretty stupid and then at the end, I had forgotten how to scan everything so its' ready to go to another store. While I was scanning, I accidently typed in that we were giving another store 7,776 mascaras when we were really giving them only two. The cost of the list ended up being $35,000, so I had my coworker check to see what the hell happened. She laughed out loud and at me, and it made me mad.

So when I was leaving I reminded my manager that because of our new sign-in number, I might have clocked out for lunch, and maybe not in. But I might have clocked in and not out. Or I might have clocked in and out real quick. Really, I do not know. And I told him I was sorry for making a mistake. He said
"You? Make a mistake? No, you never do. Especially not today. You've been really great today." I didn't like his tone so I said
"Suck it." And he said, in an entirely different tone,
"Do not tell me to suck it." So tomorrow, sometime during my travels, I will call the store and apologize for being so rude. Hopefully my actions today do not result in a lack of employment and blog tomorrow.

Break Time!

I'm thinking that it might be easier to get your breaks when you want if you ask nicely. "I'm taking my thirty now. Come up here." doesn't really work. But having a manager-type condone my deliberately waiting to break someone isn't really a good idea. Because I might take it to the next level.

Chillin'

Sundays are kind of awesome because my store manager doesn't work Sundays.

Apparently my pages sound similar to Charlie Brown's teacher's voice.

There was a situation in the photo department wherein my manager set me up. He put the order receipt sticker on the wrong folder. I ended up selling a passport for $5.39 instead of $9.99. And we had to reprint the order sticker. Of course there was a lot of yelling going on.

The girl in the photo department and I gossiped and chatted a lot today. Conclusion: many of our coworkers who think they are mediums are not.

The DM

The DM came in today. Luckily we were expecting him, so I was not wearing my sweatpants. I didn't actually meet him. But I was busy when he came in, which is good. And I learned how to check the vendors in, which is also good. I've been learning how to do stuff in the event that I ever start getting paid more for the stuff I do and will do.

I also got into a terrible funk for a couple of hours wherein I thought everyone hated me and I wanted to strangle someone and I thought I couldn't finish my workday. But I made it through because I decided not to think about what was aggravating me (or perhaps I turned my anxiety over to the care of my Higher Power) and because I bullshitted with my manager as we watched the good-looking Dr. Pepper guy bring in our order.

Awkward

I often have awkward moments throughout the day. This one was particularly so.
This guy comes in relatively frequently and finally one day he tells me he thinks I'm really cute. He also had started coming in right around my break time so we would walk out to the parking lot together. On my birthday he asked how old I was, and when I told him he was super-surprised. I think he thought he was about to rob the cradle, but evidently not so much. He also asked if I was married, divorced, and if I had any children. When I told him I had a boyfriend, he seemed disappointed. All in all, I took these comments and activities as him hitting on me.
I saw him today talking to my E.X.A, and they were speaking Serbian or Bosnian. We said hey (in English, of course) and when he left I told my manager he had been hitting on me.
"Not super-sleazy or anything. Just a 'hey, you look good' sort of way."
"Really? Are you serious?" I'm not sure why he said it like it was unbelievable I would be hit on my somebody.
"Yes I'm serious!"
"Well, thats weird. He has a wife, you know."
No. I did not know.

A New Look

I might be in line for a promotion. But apparently I have to change my look and my pages before I do.

Working Late

I worked from 9am to 7pm because we had warehouse and SOMEBODY called off.

Loss Prevention came in over the weekend and changed the codes to get into our stockroom and break-room. Consequently, I clocked in three minutes late because I couldn't get into the damn office. Yes I was pissed. Also, apparently we are not allowed to have anything to drink or eat at the register. This might kill me. I haven't decided yet.

I helped a woman pick out condoms so she wouldn't get preg again. I couldn't understand a lot of what she was saying on account of her accent. I recommended against the ribbed kind. I told her she should get the lubed, extra-sensitive, extra-thin kind. I asked if she needed Magnums and she said it wasn't necessary... then she laughed and held my arm.

The Whole Day

I spent the whole day on the register. The only good thing about that was that I sold 40 suggestive sale items. I better make it on that list or I will be salty.

The UPS guy came in as I was standing by the door wishing I could be outside in the beautiful weather we had today. He asked me to sign for something, which I did, and he went out the door. I went to give the package to one of the five managers/coworkers standing around at camera and I realized we had packages for UPS to send out. I ran out the door and through the parking lot to the truck, and I only made it to him on time because his engine stalled. Also, it has been confirmed that I am out of shape because I was out of breath from running the length of our store and the length of our parking lot. We have a small store.

One of my regulars came in the other day to tell me that our store in the hood (on Madison, west of United Center) had touch-screen registers and a fresh food and produce market. We are the last store in the district to get anything!

Late to Work

I clocked in eleven minutes late today because I woke up late and I couldn't find my car keys so I walked. I called to let them know I was going to be about fifteen minutes late. From my house phone because my cell phone was dead. Dang.

Later in the day my coworker was continuing a conversation with me, so I stopped pulling my cart to stand and talk with her. My boss came up outta nowhere with his eyes all wide and crazy and almost yelled
"So I guess you have nothing to do?"
"Oh my lord", I gasped, "Goddamnit, I was busy when she started talking to me and I wanted to be polite so I stopped to listen!" I yelled. I turned to her and said
"How could you let this happen?"
"I didn't know he was right there!"
"He is always right there! Don't talk to me!"

I clocked out six minutes late.

Balloons

When I got off the register I went over to the pharmacy to ask my manager if I should be blowing up balloons. He said
"What?! It came?! I ordered that helium tank two weeks ago and you order it yesterday and it came in today?!"
"Uh, yeah. So I'm gonna go blow up some balloons."
"Oh, ok. Sounds good."

I got my pneumonia vaccine today. My arm hurt. But it was free, so it's for me!

My Future Self

One of my favorite regulars came in today. She is this tiny little old lady who swears a lot. She was purchasing something at the camera counter and I was on the phone with another store. The Head Photo Specialist was ringing her up and we said our greetings while I was hold. Apparently the total for her pastries was more than she wanted because next thing I know she is leaning over the counter inspecting her pastries, looking at the two of us for inspiration or answers. She keeps saying
"Goddamnit"
in this cute, high, old-lady voice and my coworker could not stop laughing. I'm back on hold, so I tell my coworker that she is me in the future. This sends her into another fit of giggles. This woman tells us that we are her two favorite people who work here so I told her
"We like you too. And I like how much you swear."
Obviously, my coworker laughed at that too. All of a sudden, this woman yanks off her hat and says
"Look! I got a haircut! What do you think?"
I don't think much, because it is an odd shape for her head and it is too piece-y. But I say
"Oh, thats cute!"
"Liar! You're a liar! It looks terrible!"
Luckily I was back on the phone with our other store so I couldn't properly respond to her. After the Photo Specialist was done ringing her up for one pastry (two cost too much), another woman and our manager came to the counter with an old-people-grocery-cart. You know, those black ones that wheel around. Our favorite looked at the cart, then the woman, then the manager and said
"Ooh. I like that. You guys sell that here?"
I don't know what it was, perhaps the child-like interest and the quick change of subject, but for some reason her response sent me and H.P.S into another fit of giggles. Our laughing made our manager grin goofily and finally I just had to walk away. Not too far though, because I was still on the phone.

FInally, Hallmark

I finally got to work ALL day in my Hallmark aisle, and in the Hallmark storage area. It was nice to be able to empty some damn boxes. And I even assisted some people in finding a good card for the occasion.
My manager and I discussed the various annoyances in our respective home lives.
I even had time to swing by the pharmacy and get a script filled. On the clock, of course.

High-Strung Hallmark

Good Lord, I got so stressed out today. I was feeling kind of hostile for part of the day so I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I was still feeling hostile, but that was probably because my candy reset was taking a lot longer than it should have.

I have decided to start my training as a mall-walker by speed-walking around my store.

Someone is taking mylars off or flipping them around and I would like to know who it is. It is very irritating to have to replace mylars a few times a week. I told my managers to start watching and to leave a note in the office about not being a fuckhead who takes down the damn mylars.

I just want one day to knock out all my Hallmark boxes and to clean out my bays. It would be a lot easier to do this if people showed up to work their shifts. I would answer IC3s and do stock and price checks, but primarily I just want to hang out amongst the cards. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so, goddamnit.

The Art of Blogging

I was pleased to know that one of my coworkers read my blog recently. Possibly yesterday. And apparently it is on his "favorites". Not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds good. Also, he was looking for his name, to see what I wrote about him. He'll have to do a lot of analyzing and reading to find where I wrote about him because I never use names on this thing. Security reasons and such.

I sort of/almost got offered a promotion today. I'll take it!

Hallmark and Humming

This little old lady came up to the cosmetics counter shortly after our S.B.A had left. I felt obligated to help her. For the record, I love old people, but sometimes I can't tell if they deliberately ignore me or if they just don't hear me. Anyway, she was looking for a fragrance (which I was having trouble locating) and I started to hear a faint humming. A tuneless, human hum. Obviously it was the woman I was assisting. Did she know she was humming? Could she hear herself? Was it a song? The humming continued throughout the entire transaction, which was long because she is old.

I finally got to work on my Hallmark aisle for a few hours. I really hope I get to tomorrow too.

The Inability to Show Up to Work and Get Onto This Blog

First of all, I almost forgot what I was going to write about because I just spent fifteen minutes avoiding surveys and trying to get to my page. Finally I had to click on blogger.com.

Anyway, today is the bazillionith day one of my coworkers didn't show up for the mid-shift. There are a few issues going on:
1) they employees in question are not putting their availability up on the schedule.
2) they are putting it up and my boss is ignoring it
3) they are trying to put it up but for some reason can't submit it on time or in a readable manner.
Whatever is going on, it is screwing over those of us who actually come to work. Here is what I see: people can't make their shifts because of school or whatever. But they don't get someone who can cover the full shift. Ms. SBA and I were conferencing (a.k.a gossiping) and we started to get real mad. What would happen if everyone did that? Why do they get to do that on a regular basis, but when the two of us show up a few minutes late we feel guilty? How much longer is this going to go on before someone gets fired?
I find it appalling that this can continue to happen, and that the people who are scheduled have proved themselves so unreliable that they can't even get someone to cover the shift appropriately. And sometimes when these people show up two hours into their shift, they stay two hours later so their paychecks never take a hit.
I discussed this issue with my boss in a relatively calm manner and he seemed to feel the same way. Something better change soon. This seemingly double-standard can only go on for so much longer before I really freak out.
If these issues didn't directly affect my breaks and my work in the Hallmark aisle, I might not be so crabby about it.

Sunday Madness

The last few Sundays I have worked were quiet and kind of boring. Today was not one of those days.

Around ten am this young woman walks in wearing a tank top, jeans and Uggs. Her mother (or parental guardian) was wearing designer jeans, a casual grey hoodie and a tight black shirt with thumb holes. She came up to my register with an breathalyzer, a meth/cocaine/opiate piss test, and batteries. She was talking to her presumed daughter, telling her she had to take the piss test now. She made this girl go to the bathroom and because the woman behind her in line told Ms. Coach she should watch her, they both left for the bathroom leaving me at the register with their stuff. They come back and the slightly off-looking mom tells the young woman will pay for it with her charge card. I notice they have a cup of urine with them, and they have unpacked the test on the register across from mine. The young one says she doesn't have her card with her, so a disgruntled-looking Ms. Coach hands me two fifties. Just so we all know, the young one passed the breathalyzer, but left the pamphlet about drunk driving. Obviously this incident was a spill-over from last night. And Ms. Coach is trying to assert control or at least be knowledgeable about what her kid is doing. There was a lot of animosity between the two, but a quiet evil-eye sort, and not the screaming white-trash sort.

One of my older regulars with whom I talk about cats with said she would friend me on facebook. She has a slight southern accent, which I love. This woman is a darling.

An elderly regular of mine looked confused and kind of stressed in the aisle. I ask if there was anything I could help her with and she said "What is that thing in the ad?"
"I have no idea. Could you specify?"
"The squiggle thing...and it is on the ad?"
"Seriously, what are you talking about?"
"What is that thing?"
"Who knows? Let's look at the ad."
Turns out she was talking about the new app thing we have. I forgot what they are actually called, but the thing your phone can read and it gives you coupons and other fun stuff. Obviously, I am about a half step ahead of this woman in the technology department.

Also. We were super-busy today. I had a ton of customers and had to call for help several times. But we had no mid-shift so help did not come readily. And my relief was at my register seven minutes late.

Helpful, Courteous, and Kind

In a refreshing change of pace, I actually worked steadily and was helpful and kind to my customers and some of my coworkers.

I was pulling the cosmetics bay, which means I took merchandise from upstairs, put it in totes, and tried to stock downstairs. I worked steadily, had a plan and actually accomplished the activity all by myself. When I wasn't shuffling around merchandise, I did stock checks and helped out customers.

The first woman I helped was an older woman, probably seventies, who was looking for a Neutrogena face lotion. It had to have retinol. She had a lovely, flowing accent, and said (several times) that she was from New Orleans. I most def dig that accent. Anyway, she kept saying the box had a small green label that said "Retinol" and that it was a squeeze bottle, not a pump bottle. Sadly, her memory or thoughts on what the box looked like was not consistent with our products. We stood together a little while, analyzing boxes, while I asked her what her beauty routine was, and what she hoped to accomplish by using this cream. The "consultation" made me feel like a real Beauty Advisor. She was actually quite pleased with my help, asked me my name, and said "thank you" a few times.

As I was heading into the stock room this Assyrian guy stopped me and wanted me to help him find something for itchy feet. The name sounded vaguely familiar so I stood there for a while looking at various itchy-feet products. He got the name from whomever he was buying for and I knew we had that product. I moved to another aisle and yelled to the pharmacy tech about itchy feet products and he looked at me like I was a fucking idiot and said "aisle 9". I walked back over there, stood around looking, and yelled to my coworker as he was coming out of the stockroom to help me find this damn product. He looks for a second, then points to it. I felt like a dum-dum. But the guy was happy, and he told me he knew I would find it. I made some sarcastic remark about how it takes three people to locate one item...and this guy stuck out his hand for me to shake. Which I did...but then as he is holding my hand he grabs me around the shoulder and I thought he was going to do more/worse. I quickly scurried into the stockroom. Creepy.

When people ask my name, I always hold up our ridiculous name-tag as I say my name. And every single time I think about Warren from Empire Records after he finally gets a job there during the fundraiser.

The last notable woman I helped was one of my regulars and she needed assistance in locating her hair-dye. Which was behind a misplaced product. She tried to haggle with me because the dye she wanted was in a clearance spot, but I said we wouldn't give her the clearance price because the identical item was in the right spot. In any case, she thanked me, and said
"As always, you are always so helpful and nice."
"Aww. Well, thank you."

While I was stocking the hair-dye I noticed that many of the models on the boxes have thick and slightly unruly eyebrows. It is true in many brands. I hadn't noticed it before. Despite this observation, I assure you I was actually working hard today.