The New Lady

I trained the new lady today. Luckily I didn't need to work that hard because she has 18 years retail experience. She wouldn't stand still, and she always needed something to do. She made me tired. She also made me answer the phone. She has a pretty thick Greek accent, and when she walks behind me she touches my waist. Which totally took me by surprise and must end. She is very friendly and pretty excited about working.

I'm tired.

Lemonhead Lady and Groupon Guy

I sort of helped a guy pick out a belated wedding gift. He was thinking about a gift card, and I asked if they were registered anywhere, and then he addmitted he was buying a belated gift. I suggested Bed, Bath, and Beyond and he mentioned Groupon. I told him to go for the Groupon. If they aren't members yet, they should be. And they can purchase stuff, date-night experiences, regular experiences, and services. Go Groupon, He thanked me for my help.

Lemonhead Lady is an individual who I think thinks she is fabulous, and I am reluctant to agree. She came up to my register, already eating her Lemonheads. She buys the bag and always opens it before arriving at my register. Like she can't wait. And today she didn't even let go of the bag. Her daughter whined about chocolate until her ma bought her some. I'm all for eating candy, just not like that. Lemonhead Lady comes in about once a week, I think.

Friend vs. Manager

My boss was unnecessarily rude and mean. He was having a bad day and took it out on me.

On the upside, an old friend of mine stopped by, and we chatted. And promised to have lunch. Or cheese fries. I was happy to see her.

My yogurt had mold in it. Glad I wasn't too hungry.

Sad Time

I was so hostile for most of the day.

If it weren't for the note on the Cos register, I wouldn't have even remembered that my WBFF was leaving. I looked for remenents of the red velvet cake she brought in and found none. Which made me almost as upset as realizing I missed her last day.

I couldn't find a lot of the merch that I was supposed to put an ad tag on.

Some woman with an unusual and irritating tic complained about my Hallmark aisle. I was not pleased.

Also, I misplaced, but probably lost, a high-value coupon. That is obviously the most devastating portion of my day. 

If you evidently only get EBT food benefits, why would you think you could use it for painkillers and pantyhose?

I'm over it now. I had a good day after work.

Rain and Sun

When I got into work it was raining and cloudy. When I was ringing people up, the S.B.A noticed that it was raining and sunny at the same time. We both decided that we love that kind of weather. I am very annoyed she is leaving.

I got my preg-safe flu shot today. They had it special-ordered for me. Our pharmacists are pretty awesome.

No More Hospitals

One of our regular mentally ill customers said something bizzare around the pharmacy, and my store manager called the cops. We watched him walk through the store, through the parking lot, and down the street. Then we watched the cops arrest him. According to one of our bystanders, the state has closed two or three mental hospitals in the last year. Which would explain the barrage of customers I've been having in the past year. They will hold that guy, for maybe a day, then release him back into our parking lot.

The D.M came in today, at around the same time as a mother-daughter duo. I went to do a stock-check for them and when I came back they commented on how helpful I always am, and how quick I always assist them. When I was ringing them up in Cos, they wanted to talk to the store manager about me. (They talked to an assistant, but he didn't respond as they wished so they requested a store manager.) Luckily the D.M heard most if not all of this...which is fabulous for me because earlier today I had two freakouts before my lunch, which, surprisingly is above my normal quota.

Cut It Up

I am fairly certain that the gentleman purchasing a Black and Mild, baking soda, and sandwich baggies was about to go cut some blow.

I also don't think that white jeans with no panties and a tube top is an appropriate outfit for the first day of high school. But apparently some people do.

The PD Came Out

I followed my coworker outside to witness three squad cars block this guy in. They approached the car, and this guy came out, smoking, and seemed willing to cooperate. He shorted his cigarette, and put his hands behind his back. They cuffed him and took off his hat. It was a minute before the other guy came out, turned around, and they cuffed him too. I wish I knew what they were getting arrested for...but it took three squads to take them in, so it must have been serious.

Twenty minutes later, the impound guys came and loaded that car up.

While we were standing outside, I noticed that the mulch was on fire again. Yes, I put it out. Guess its' still crazy dry outside.

Hallmark and Dms'

I spent the entire day in the Hallmark aisle and I'm still not done. But the DM stopped by and said
"Hallmark is such an intimate thing that people do"
and
"The bags look great"
so I was happy.

I told one of my regulars that the woman we thought was a time traveler was more likely a teacher or a counselor or someone who works with children. I have come to that conclusion because she greeted a child near my register, asking her is she was coming back this year, and if she was ready. When I told my regular this, he said that time travelers are often tricky and potential liars. So obviously he isn't buying her teacher act. And I think he was drunk.

Two Freak-Outs

One was because this woman wanted to use four mnf coupons for three items. I told her that she could not use the extra mnf coupon because her Ziploc coupon counted for two. She said 'since when?' She got an attitude with me first, and I have a feeling that because English was obviously not her first language, there was a misunderstanding. I think she thought I was saying she couldn't use the third coupon for those items. Or she didn't understand that her Ziploc coupon was off of two. Then I wasn't sure if she actually wanted her stuff, so I threw it in my overstock basket. Apparently she did want her stuff. Then she accused me of not scanning her legit coupons. My sister says that I am normally sweet and don't start off with attitude until someone brings it. And apparently this woman brought it. She says she'll come back when I'm not here. I hope so.

A regular of mine really freaks me out, and it is getting to the point where I no longer feel obligated to put up with his bullshit. He comes in today and tells me that he has been waiting all day for me, and he is so happy to see me. Sounds ok, but totally creepy. Then he says I've put on a lot of weight since I quit smoking. I snapped at him and in a much-to-loud voice said that I'm preg, not fat. My manager comes up. I run his check through with only a few mishaps. He comes back in, and his check is denied six times before my coworker comes up and tries it. Then we move to another register. Still won't work. He is starting to get agitated so my manager reappears. There was a verbal altercation during which I thought the guy threatened to pee in our "lobby" and my manager tells him to stop swearing at him. The guy tells my manager that he doesn't call all the shots, and he isn't the shot-callers. Also, we have no idea what he lives with. A call to the cops was threatened, and the customer tells us that he is allowed to use our restroom because it is a public place. Which isn't true. My store is, in fact, private property.

My Name Is...

A guy somewhere around my age comes in with a trick bike I doubt he can actually ride.
"You guys need to have colder a/c in here.",
he says to me while I'm wearing my Abercrombie track jacket.
"Do you have a bike pump?"
"Maybe in aisle 5."
"No, I mean for free."
"Absolutely not."
"How about some cheap water?"
"Aisle 9."
He goes to get his water. And when he comes back to the register he says,
"Are you pregnant?"
"Yes, but if I wasn't I would be very upset you said that."
He lets out this tittering laugh.
"Well, I only said that because I saw you rubbing your belly like, 'uunnnggghh'."
"Uh, yeah. Well, I'm in some pain now..."
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I don't, but I will the first week of September."
He squealed like a schoolgirl and said
"Oh my God! How exciting!"
and he reached out to hold my hand. Which I weirdly reciprocated.
"It is exciting. Thank you."
"Do you know what you'll name it?"
"No I do not. I did, but I do not anymore. There is some drama about that."
"There was this girl, who I hardly knew, and she had my baby, and she named it 'Musfasta'. Musfasta! I said, 'I'm not going to claim a child named Musfasta', right?
"Uhhh..."
"Congradulations! Have a great day!"
Shortly after he leaves on his bike, I hear 'Oh shit!' and some car honks.

Bittersweet Aniversary and a Hair Hat

"Do you have anniversary cards? And a granddaughter birthday card?"
"Yes I do." I dutifully pointed.
"I don't want the anniversary card to be too happy. This one is too mushy. They have had a hard year."
I handed her one that wished the couple happiness in the future.
"No, no, this is no good. He is very sick. Very sick. I don't want to sound too optimistic. Do you have some in this section?"
"I do, but they are all Happy Anniversary cards. I don't have any for a sort-of happy anniversary. Or a bittersweet one."
"What? You don't?"
"No ma'am. Have you tried the Hallmark store?"

I thought he had his hat on askew. But it was an oddly positioned dread. This skinny, very tan, wide-eyed white guy (middle-age) had let (or made) his hair dread up into a huge one coming out over the right side of his face and head. There was another dread on the same side going down the back of his neck. He seemed very out of it, but asked if there was a thrift store nearby. He got a lot of stares (only a few from me). And when he left my manager supposed on how he let himself get like that. 

New Schedule

You would think that with my seniority I wouldn't be the last to know everything, but apparently I was the last to know that our schedule is now being created by a computer. Sounds a little sci-fi, but I guess this new system takes into account people's availability and puts everyone on a rotating schedule. Also, according to rumor, the heads of departments will be scheduled only for midshifts. Call me old-fashioned, but I still think it makes more sense to let a human take care of what affects the other humans. Plus, who am I supposed to yell at when I get a shitty schedule?

Hot Advice

A good-looking regular came in and called me momma. She asked how many weeks along I am.
"Sixteen, I think."
"Really? Wow, you look a lot better than I did at sixteen weeks. You still look hot."
"Oh, well. Thank you!"

A co-worker asked me for advice regarding a woman. I'm just excited he even thought to ask me. I'm in with the in crowd.

Considerably Better

Today was considerably better.
Many of my calls were ignored and the registers seem to have a lot of bugs left in them, but my emotional well-being was much improved.
Sadly I was nine minutes late. Which I find hugely annoying.
The staff we had was great.

Don't Leave Me

Today was super-frustrating.
The guy who was giving me my breaks was at least fifteen minutes late for all three of my breaks. If he was anyone else, I would think he was being passive-aggressive. But instead I think he was being careless.
I was scheduled to go home at four-thirty. I didn't want to be too fussy, so at 4:40, I called someone to come up to the register. It was another ten minutes before anyone even came up. The woman who came up hadn't been trained with the new registers (we're not real good at giving people adequate training), so she was kind of useless. The manager I called either didn't hear me or chose to ignore me, until I saw him and yelled directly. I also called someone else to come up to register.
I don't know who the second shift is, because the woman scheduled isn't usually so disappointing. The whole day of my calls being ignored and my schedule being ignored was awful. Plus, I was hungry.

Is it possible to purchase Chore-Boy, a high-flame lighter, and a tire gauge without getting ready to smoke crack? The gentleman purchasing these items did not look like a typical crackhead, (overweight and pasty), but why else would he need these items together?

Thirdly, I found out today that my work b.f.f will be leaving at the end of August for a better paying job. I'm excited for her and very irritated for myself.

New Registers

I finally got to work on the new registers! I got my own sign-in ID card, which I will probably lose at some point. We had to shut them down twice today, and it took me awhile to figure out how to do stuff. But at least we got them.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

Debit or Credit

"Debit or credit?"
I said as I took her card.
"Credit?"
I asked because she handed me the card.
"Yeah."
So I ran it as credit. And after I handed her the receipt, she holds up her card and says,
"This is a debit card. Did you run it as a debit? This is a debit card. You have to run it as a debit."
"Ok, well I ran it as a credit because when I said 'credit', you said 'yeah'. If you want to return all your stuff, then repurchase it, you can do so at the cosmetics counter."
She nodded so I called for a return in Cos.
Then a coworker came up to purchase his snacks and make snarky comments, and she continued to stand there. I put up a couple of cartons of smokes, noticed she was still there, and said,
"Did you need help with anything else?"
She smiled and shook her head. Then she said,
"What am I waiting for?"
"I was wondering that myself. What are you waiting for?"
"Well, aren't I returning this stuff? Isn't that what he had come over here for?"
"No, he came over to buy snacks and chat. Our returns happen in cosmetics."
"Well then what the hell am I doing? I can't understand a word you say, all your letters all jumbled..."
She finally walked away and over to cosmetics where she could talk to someone else about debits.

Free Advice: If you can't understand me, say "What?" or "Pardon?". Do not wait me out. Most people can't understand me, and I do not find it offensive if you tell me that you have no idea what I said. Because standing around like that is a waste of time.

LP

Loss Prevention came in to assess our situation, so I was extra cautious about potentional scams. I tried to call the managers to report several possible "situations" but most of the time they didn't answer.
The amount of insanity I have to deal with on a daily basis is astounding and a testament to the non-care of the mentally ill.

According to my regualars, I am having a boy. Or a girl. And it will be born on January 12. Still, I would not ask someone with my shape when I am due. These people have some balls.