Special Eyebrows

I don't mean to be judgmental or difficult, but kids with uni-brows freak me out. All I know is, my kid will not be sporting one. I rung up this woman while looking at her otherwise adorable stroller-bound kid. It isn't quite at the full uni-brow state, but it comes way to close.

A regular of mine came in today, and I got just a tad hostile with her. She is special needs (I don't know how special, really) but she evidently has trouble reading social cues. She came to my register today and started in on an obnoxious line of questioning:
"Sooooooo, are you getting married soon?"
"Yeah, I was thinking about it."
"Oh, so you do want to get married soon?"
"That's the plan."
"Oh. So when did you want to get married?"
"Not sure. When I get my paperwork ready."
"Ok. Buuuuuuuuuuuuttttt you are getting married?"
"Yeah."
She spots my ring, and says,
"Oh, look at your ring! So you are getting married!"
"Yeah."
"Are you gaining weight?"
Honestly, when is this ever appropriate to say?
"Uh, yeah. I'm pregnant, so yeah."
"Oh! Well, we really need you to get married soon then!"
I finally had enough.
"None of this is any of your business. I need for you to stop asking questions about what I am doing with my life, take a step back, and realize that none of this is your business."
"Oh. Well I didn't mean to offend you."
"Ok."
" I wasn't trying to be offensive..."
I just looked away, and held my tongue. She acted hurt, and upset at me, and I was pretty sure she was waiting for an apology. But I did not. Should I have? I guess I just don't know how much she does or does not know...

Pancakes

This morning when I went to go get my car, there was a pancake on the passenger trunk side. It looked kind of crumpled. I threw it over the fence. Then laughed a lot.

One of my regulars came in, and as I grabbed her smokes, I showed her my left hand. I told her it happened over the weekend, and she was appropriately excited for me. I also told her about the pancake, and we both had a good laugh over that.
"I got engaged over the weekend, and I found a pancake on my car this morning."
I tried to maintain that upbeat attitude for the rest of the day. It only sort of worked.

Montag

OMG I can't believe I actually fell asleep before blogging on Monday. I've been pretty tired lately. I hate being tired. It makes me crabby.

I had an informative and terrifying conversation with my regular and her daughter. They were telling me about their birthing experiences.

On the upside, I got to show off my new ring to everyone. Yea!

Squirrels

I got to work before we opened. While I was waiting for my boss to open the door I heard some rustling in the trash can. I took a few steps back and went to the other door, and a squirrel jumped out of the trash can! When I walked inside, I informed my boss that the squirrel almost got me. When we got to the office, he talked about the squirrel like they had known each other for a long time.
"Yeah, that squirrel? When I come in, he is scrounging around in the trash until he hears me. Then he sticks his head out and goes like this:"
He does an impression.
"As I'm going inside, the squirrel jumps out and hangs around the curb until I'm heading to the office. But I know as soon as I'm out of sight, he heads back into the trash. And I'm like 'Yeah you furry bastard, I know what you're doing!' He just hangs out and eats trash every morning. Why can't he do that when I'm not coming into work?"
"He just does what city squirrels do. Did you want me to do the smart count?"
"Yeah. Thanks."

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."

I covered today's shift for my W.B.F.F and it was kinda rough. I worked from 7:30am til 5pm. And Saturdays are much more busy than I remember.

Similarities

I was minding my own business, doing an awesome job in the Hallmark aisle when I hear,
"How far along are you?"
"Oh, five months."
I look to see who it was, and before I could say, 'Do I know you?' she says,
"Do you know what you're having ?"
"A boy."
"Oh! I just had a boy four months ago! You look fantastic."
After she said that, I was glad I wasn't rude. Nice ego boost there. Later I rung her up, and she was even more awesome. She said the most painful part of the whole thing was the three weeks right before she gave birth while she was still waiting tables. And she said once she got the epidural, everything was fine. And she was really excited about having a boy on account of us girls are a whole different kind of crazy. And she said "boyfriend" instead of "husband." I should have gotten her number or something. It was a very reassuring conversation.

I switched with my coworker and now I'm worried about who I'll be working with on Saturday. I hope those I work with like me. And are reasonable with the breaks.

Santa Claus?

A black man came in with no shirt on, holding his stuff in his hands. His "stuff" was his shirt and a piece of fried chicken. He wanted a pack of Newport 100's, so I rung it up for him. To dig in his pockets, he put his chicken down on my bagging area. He was mumbling and talking fast, but I think I understood most of it. He wanted me to give him the pack of smokes for free because he was Santa Claus. And because he may or may not curb-stomp me or smack my head against the curb. (Although I'm still unclear about that threat.) After I had rung up the smokes, he just starts pressing buttons on the pinpad, which was my second clue  that the man wasn't right. He also tried to pay for these smokes with a Baskin Robins card. In retrospect, I should have called my manager or one of the dudes to the front when I noticed something was off about this guy. I need to stop waiting for something to happen before I call for help.

A very angry woman comes in periodically. I suspect part of the reason she is angry is her unbelievably unfortuante looks. She has thick, ill-fitting 80's glasses, and a short, frizzy perm. She has a considerable amount of facial hair, and her skin isn't smooth. (But it isn't pock-marked either.) Her clothes are always outdated. Honestly, it is hard to look at her. And she is so unpleasent and mean. Today she asked if we had gotten a new manager, I told her we had, and she snootily replied
"I can tell."
Whatever that meant.

Thank goodness I'm back in cosmetics tomorrow.

Commentaries

A regular of mine said,
"Are you gaining weight?"
"Yes. Because I'm pregnant."
"Oh! Girl or boy."
"Boy. And just so you know, it is very rude to mention someone's weight like that."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"That's fine. I'm just letting you know."
He apologized several more times. I don't feel like I was rude. In fact, given the orginal comment, I think I reacted very poitely, given the first comment. But I do feel a little bad because I think he might be a little slow.

Our Rewards Card

I tried to sign up one of my regulars  because he is "addicted" to those keychain cards. But when he typed in his phone number and it asked to verify his birthday, it thought he was born in '96. Which he obviously wasn't. So we had to go back in a change all his information. Apparently his son has been using his info. Which is why the jr/sr thing makes no sense.

Today was a puttering day. In which I was supposed to be in Cosmetics, but spent most of the day at the second register because signing people up for these damn cards takes so long. I spent a very brief period in Hallmark. I also engaged in some gossip.

A female regular said,
"Oh, you're pregnant! I didn't know you were married."
"I'm not."
"Oh, and you look so young..."
"No, not that young."
Honestly I am kind of surprised when people notice and comment on my marital status. It does matter, but it is nobody's business. And I kind of thought we were done with those thoughts. But I also think people think I'm much younger than I am. Because I have a fabulous baby-face, and because I'm working at damn near entry-level.

Loyalties and Bloody Noses

I got a bloody nose today. Which my book says is normal. It was still almost embarrassing, although nowhere near at the middle school level.

I printed out a bazillion coupons yesterday; way more than I intended. My printer ran low on ink. And the coupons said 'redeem at another store' and I took that as a suggestion, not an order. My coworker pushed them through anyway, mostly because he is awesome. My checkouts take a long time these days, because of our loyalty card and my coupons.

Today was the first day of our loyalty card sign-up. I signed up one total person, comprised of the two people I halfway signed up. I couldn't finish either of my sign-ups because of my frustration and confusion. Which is sad, really.

I politely accused my new coworker of hanging up on my boyfriend, and she was very defensive. I'm pretty sure it was her, who else could it be?

Mutiny and Deals

There is unrest among the staff because of the inconsistantly of treatment of diffrent workers. The unrest also stems from the inconsistent training of the new people. Who are basically doing whatever they feel like.

I spent $18.63 today. On:
Folgers Country Roast- $6.99 and I had a 25 cent coupon
Tide Boost packets- $3.99
(2) Bounce fabric softner sheets-$3.99, I had a $2 off three coupon
Bone-shaped dog chew toy- 50 cents and I used a $3 store coupon so the overage was applied to the rest of the purchase
(2) sticks of Right Gaurd deoderant-b1g1f, and I had a $2 off two coupon. (With my discount, they were $3.82)
Neutrogena Deep Clean Face Wash- 25% off, with a $1 off peelie (it rang up at $4.64)

My goal is to get my stockpile big enough so that I don't have to leave my house for a month while I'm on maternity leave. I think I can achieve that goal.

Tazers and Athlete's Foot

This woman came up to my register with a tube of the store brand athlete's foot cream. She had talked to me before, and I think she might be a little paranoid. She pointed to her cream and said that she never had to use this stuff before she moved to this town. She has lived here thirty years. Somehow she connected her athlete's foot to the police's use of tasers. I was reminded that the police taser pregnant women too. She said that this is a godless town, but the worst people are those in law enforcement. Apparently, especially detectives and beat cops. She also hopes God will bless my child. English is not her first language, and I wonder if I am missing something in the translation. Other than her paranoia, this woman seems totally normal.

Revenge of the Cards

Finally got to work in my Hallmark aisle. But I was also working at Register One, Cosmetics, and Photo at the same time. I opened up a displayable Halloween card too vigorously and it popped up and hit me in the nose. And yes, there is a mark.

I very much like the newest girl.

The Neglected Aisle

I'm feeling kind of bad about how I left my Hallmark aisle. I was supposed to put up the Halloween and other Fall holiday cards several days ago. I mentioned that to a few managers, and today was the day I was finally able to make some progress. Part of my not getting it done was my fault, though. I forgot about putting up the new stuff, then I would remember it at inopportune times. How did the woman before me get all this done? Besides being an O.G, she was scheduled exclusively for the Hallmark aisle, which means she didn't spend a lot of time in other departments or helping customers. (I do both those things on a regular basis.) I have tommorow off, and right now half my aisle is missing merchandise. I'm sure I will have a ton of complaints waiting for me. But perhaps it will put pressure on my managers to let me in the aisle on Tuesday. The other thing I'm worried about is snapping at my mangers if/when they tell me to fix my aisle. I will try keep my comebacks to myself, remain chipper and agreeable...instead of informing them that I need to be allowed to work in that aisle more often, I need to be allowed to read the Hallmark emails, and I need time to reorganize my space in the back. On the upside, I love my cards.

100 Years

A regular of mine who hasn't been in in awhile came in today. He is a shrinking, wrinkly, hard-of-hearing, a WWII vet, and a shouter. He calls me "young lady" and he is usually hilarious and difficult. Today he came to my register, put his stuff on the counter, looks me in the eyes and says,
"The first 100 years are the hardest."
 I couldn't help but laugh. And agree. 

The Funeral. And Smoking Pot

Today was your funeral. I think it finalized what happened was real. I wanted to go, but I was at work. We miss you, and there are some sweet pictures surfacing on facebook. A lot of people are asking me about you; and how everyone you left at the store are doing.

A woman walks up to the ATM and asks if she can get change for the twenty.
"Sure."
"Does your piercing go all the through or is it just through the top part of your lip?",
she asks as she stands to the side of my register waiting until my transaction was done. I pull my ring down to show her that it goes all the way through.
"That's the kind of ring I want."
"Yeah, I like it. It's the easiest to deal with."
She was about to say something else when a woman with a brown and black print dress walks by and says,
"Do you have security here?"
"Uhh, why?"
"Because there are people smoking marijuana in the parking lot."
"Ok, let me, uhh..."
I trailed off because right then the woman who wanted change freaks out.
"Bitch! Why you gotta worry about what other people are doing?! It's not like this is your store! You don't own the muthafucking air around here! Why you gotta tell on someone like that!?"
"This is my store because its' in my neighborhood! I don't want that activity going on here."
At this point, I already called the store manager to the front. The woman who apparently didn't want the change anymore had already left and the other woman wanted us to call the cops. Everyone in line was started by the reaction of the change-getting woman. I wasn't, because it was obvious that she was getting the money to purchase whatever was being used out in the lot.

Schedule Mix-Ups

Because of what happened, several people have not been coming in. Which is reasonable. But the new people we've had to call in are kind of useless. I'm finding it hard to enjoy work and my coworkers.

I was super-hostile and full of anger today. I hope I can push through that.

Seriously?

I bought a card for you, and it is in the office waiting to get signed by everyone so we can give it to your parents. They came in today and had photos of you printed. Like she said, I hope it looks good down here from paradise.

I always have a jacket, hoodie or sweater on my cart. Today I had my only maternity hoodie, and I had to grab it out of this woman's hands. She picked up my goddamn hoodie, and seemed to be looking through it. When I snatched it from her, I angerly said,
"Can I help you with something? Why did you pick up my stuff?"
In accented English she says,
"I was looking for Kleenex."
"Well, not in my jacket."
Then she has the nerve to get short with me. After he fussing about finding Kleenex, (or not finding it), I reluctantly and angerly walk her to the aisle. A few minutes later I see her at the front register asking for help. Thank god one of my favorite coworkers was working and he helped her. Sort of. The nerve of some people.

We Miss You

I hope you know how much we will miss you.
You trained me on my first day. We bonded over managers we didn't like. We had a lot of hilarious and non-work related conversations.
You always made me laugh. I think the last time I saw you, you made me laugh was when you were making fun of me for buying and carrying too much stuff to my car. I dropped a jar of salsa, and you yelled
"Ma'am! I think you dropped something!"
and I erupted into a fit of giggles.
You always called me "ma'am" and it made me feel old. I told you to stop and you never did.
I got mad at you for being late and forgetting my breaks and getting distracted by hot girls. You would ask if I was for real mad, and if I really hated you, and I of course responded no. Because it was hard to stay mad at you.
Sometimes when you rung people up, you would make these crazy faces at them when they weren't looking. And again, I would erupt into giggles.
We talked about serious stuff too.
We always had a lot of fun working together.
I could always count on you to like my fragrance. And when I needed a compliment, I could count on you to give me one.
I very much enjoyed working with you. I wish I knew you better, but what I did know about you, I liked. Of course, there will forever be unanswered questions. 
We miss you so much. And I hope you know that.