Cigarettes

Oh my lord, today was stressful. I stayed 45 minutes after my shift to finish the cigarette count. But I get to go home 45 minutes early on Monday, probably. Although no one ever wants to cover for me like that. Ridiculous.

One of the crazy coupon ladies came in today. But she was courteous and well-organized.

I felt like we were absurdly busy today.

This woman called to ask about an engagement gift she had received. "P.S. I love you". She wanted to know if we carried it. Which we do not, because it is a Bath and Body Works line. She said that the nearest one is closed, and am I sure that we don't have it.
"Yes I am sure because that is a store brand. They do not carry our products so we do not carry theirs."
"Oh thats' too bad, because it really is lovely. And you don't carry it? Its' called P.S I Love You."
"Yes ma'am I am sure."
"But they gave me your number."
"Who?"
"The store that closed. They gave me your number to check if you carried it."
"Another store that is possibly closed gave you our number to see if we had their brand? Are you sure?"
"Yes. But they closed. And you don't have it? It is such a lovely scent."
If I wasn't so paranoid about corporate checking up on me, I would have screamed at her. It goes on:
" Yes ma'am I am VERY sure."
"Oh, how sad. Ok, but do you have a tinted moisturizer? It is so lovely. The other ones are not tinted so they are not lovely. This one looks great."
"Neutrogena?"
"Yes! So you have it?"
"No, I was just clarifying. It has a sunscreen in it and its' a tinted moisturizer?"
"Yes! Oh, it looks so lovely on my skin, which has an olive complexion. I mean, I am not a dark olive. Just a slightly tinted one. And this moisturizer looks fantastic on me. The other ones do not. Because they are not tinted."
"I understand. Well, we did have that moisturizer, but we do not anymore. I bought mine off the clearance shelf, although I am not an olive. So, we do not carry that kind any longer. Perhaps I can transfer you to a manager who can try to locate it at another store?"
"Oh yes, that would be fantastic! It is such a lovely tint."
"Ok. Uh, hang on."
Shortly after transferring I see my manager look for the moisturizer in the aisle. I yell to him that we don't have it, I need for him to check another store. He looks stressed and confused (he is in the cosmetics department, after all). He picks up the phone and tells her to call another branch. Then he looks to me and asks if we have a perfume called P.S I Love You. This is how I lose my mind every shift.
Actually, she had called twice. This was the second conversation because I had to get management involved.