Overheard In 1992

My internet wasn't working last night, despite the massive amount I pay. So this is what happened yesterday:

I was in the aisle, ear-hustling a woman's cell conversation. She was telling the woman on the other end that,
"he wanted to get one of them young things, but he's afraid he might have a heart attack"..."uh-uh"...."he probably would, he's old now"...
Later I saw her in Aisle 8, and I overheard her telling the person on the other end that "you can only take so much".
So true.

A woman in her late teens or early 20's came in, looking like a New Kid on the Block. She asked for a cord to attach, possibly, a MP3 player to the steareo. I told her that I wasn't sure what she was looking for because I'm living in 1992. I told her that I don't do all the new devices; I have a fucking flip-phone.  We laughed and joked for a while about our lack of interest and understanding of the new techno stuff. I told her she needed a friend to come in a find her what she needs. Her friend, she said, is like us; she doesn't know anything either. I was able to help them locate some facial hair bleach.

We were short because the girl on the schedule quit. Tomorrow, I will let the woman in Cos know that I want the 8:30 lunch. Maybe we'll compromise and I'll take lunch at 8:15.

Cranky

I was tired and cranky for most of the day. I felt fatigued, despite the oversized travel mug of coffee I had.

My co-worker took at 45 minute lunch, which irritated the hell out of me and the woman in Cosmetics. When she finally walked in she was walking super-slow, like she always does. I told her that coming in that late wasn't cool, that she needs to speed it the hell up, and that we are going to have to make sure that she gets her lunch last so she won't fuck over the rest of us. She just sort of nodded and continued to walk slow. Thats' cool douche, I'll remember that.

You Know B.J?

When I asked a woman if she needed any help finding anything, she asked me if I knew B.J. I said
"No. I do not know B.J."
"Oh, well, he comes in very often. I was thinking you would know what kind of chips he likes. He comes in all the time."
"I do not know B.J. I also do not know what kind of chips he likes."
The woman then used her cell phone to call B.J to ask him what kind of chips he wanted. Because that is much more effective than asking the Photo Specialist. Just saying.

A woman came to the register while I was giving the girl at One her break. She was buying allergy medication and a single-serve juice. Then her sons came to the register. They looked to be in high school. The older boy asked to get Snickers, which were on sale. She said,
"No. Because it's one thing, then another, then another. I can't keep doing this."
"You can't afford 59 cents to get me a peanut butter Snickers?"
"I can. But...oh. Alright."
The other boy wanted Bianca breath spray and when she asked how much it was, they said with some annoyance.
"Its' like, 4 bucks."
"4 bucks!"
"Mom, please."
"Its' just that if I say yes now, then I say yes later then everything adds up..."
She was obviously having trouble saying 'no' to her boys, and they weren't even grateful! I really hope my kid isn't like that. I plan on schooling my son in the use of coupons and how money actually works. I thought about saying something to those little shitheads...but luckily I decided against it.

I worked a nine hour shift today. And it wasn't that bad. But my eye still hurts.

My Left Eye

My left eye stings. So not really painful, but not painless. I'll probably have to wear my glasses tomorrow.

There is a weird white guy that has some boundary issues who comes in all the time. He called me "Earrings" today, and he wanted me to get him a spoon from the break room. This irritated me greatly. I curtly told him that we only had forks, which I did not offer him. I hope he didn't hear me talking about how stressed out he makes me.

This woman had a coupon that she wanted to use on a past purchase. The coupon was not for the items she purchased, but my manager ok'd the transaction anyway. The coupon value was higher than product value. I had to return the products and then have her buy it back, using the coupon. I tried to do it all in one transaction and had to call a manager for a total void. The customer was starting to get aggravated at me because it was taking so long. Apparently her son would be mad, because she left him in her car. Not my problem.

Serial Killers and Smooshed Heads

My manager and I talked about serial killers. We have a similar morbid interest.

My co-worker asked if I do anything to re-shape my kid's head. I do not. I might be biased, but I think my kid's head looks pretty good. Apparently her family has their baby sleep on something hard to reshape the head. I think that is kind of awful.

I didn't read the box on my hair dye properly, so my roots are a bright red. I look kind of ridiculous.

I told my co-workers and manager about my new 'disability'. With some interesting reactions.

Fraud and Crying Passports

Yesterday these two ladies came in and had a really intense scam going on. They had several (like, 7) Citibank cards, which all matched their ID. When purchasing a Visa gift card, I had to get my manager to swipe his ID, and they gave me an access code that worked. Apparently we were supposed to call Visa and get the code from them. The ladies had three or four purchases each, and they bought gift cards with each one. Luckily I was paying attention to the federal law and didn't ring them up for more than $500.

Also yesterday, a little girl came up to me and asked if we were going to stop selling things.
"What?"
"Are you still going to sell stuff? Or are you closing down?"
"I...we are not closing down. We close at midnight. And we'll be open at seven tomorrow morning."
"So you'll keep selling stuff?"
"Yes."
It really threw me off.

Today I had a lot of baby/pregnancy conversations. I rung up a woman for her photos, and she spread her photos out on the counter. I noticed one with her shirt pulled up, showing (only) her pregnant belly. She has a picture of the day her baby was conceived.

Also today, I was able to get a passport of a little girl who just finished a freak-out. For some reason, whenever her parents put her in front of the white board, she started crying. Her mother assured me it wasn't my fault. After several attempts, she cheered up and even started to smile and clap. Her passport was adorable. And her mother thanked me for being so patient.

Que?

The snow surrounding the parking lot is almost as tall as me. Someone wrote something in Spanish by the mailbox. The mystery and suspense is agonizing. These are the times I wish I was bilingual.

I spent the first ten minutes of my shift telling my coworker how expensive kids are. His kid is due in a week, and he has not chosen a pediatrician or decided what insurance the child will be born on. So I gave him my pediatrician's info because I really like her. And I let him know that the baby needs it's first doctor's appointment a week after it's birth. So he needs to get it together. Also, I think he hasn't stockpiled any baby supplies yet...which is unfathomable to me.

Our truck didn't come in, so we don't have any eggs or bread. People were appalled. And possibly personally offended. I think it just reminds people that essentials are sometimes hard to come by. That storms and extreme temperatures and global warming affects prices and supplies. And perhaps the end of days is near. Or maybe people should just be stockpiling because of situations like these. Even in our modern society, there are great inconveniences.